Miles: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Good morning to my favorite school. How is everyone doing?
Barbara: What do you want?
Miles: So a bit of a problem.
Melissa: Sounds like a "you" problem.
Miles: I haven't said what it is yet.
Melissa: Proceed.
Miles: So there have been students from various schools playing in the golf course construction zones. And some of them are wearing Abbott uniforms. And-
Barbara: And you would like us to get our students to stop so that the other students will stop as well.
Miles: Yes. The Abbott students are disturbingly influential.
Ava: Thank you. [Chuckles] We can get our cool-ass students to stop.
Miles: That's why you're my favorite school. [Chuckles]
Melissa: For a price.
Miles: [Whispers] What is your price?
Janine: Actually, we really need new gym equipment.
Miles: [Normal voice] Oh!
Janine: Yes.
Miles: Okay, so like what? Like new archery board, lacrosse gear?
Barbara: Oh, our lacrosse sticks are so worn down after all of the lacrosse that we have been playing.
Gregory: I think she means like new footballs.
Jacob: Basketballs.
Janine: Dodgeballs.
Ava: Parachute.
Janine: Oh, yeah.
Barbara: Yeah!
Miles: For... skydiving?
Barbara: What?
Janine: No. You know, you throw it up and the kids run under it.
Miles: Oh, yeah, you mean a disposable gazebo?
Mr. Johnson: [Scoffs] Oh. I actually can't with this man.
Jacob: No, man, the one with the handles, you know? And you're like, whoo!
Miles: I-I’m just... I am not familiar.
Melissa: Oh, come on!
Janine: You know a parachute.
Jacob: You know, gym class?
Janine: Have you ever been in school?
Jacob: Everybody holds it and go like...
All: Whoa!
Gregory: It's like a circus tent. And it's like ahh!
All: Whee!
Melissa: And then everybody takes turns.
Ava: It's a parachute.
Melissa: And you run in.
Janine: And you, like, have a great time.
Miles: [Yelling] I do not know what you are referencing!
Jacob: I’ll just send you a link then.
Miles: [Normal voice] Cool. Bye.
[Maker's "Hold'em" playing]
♪♪
Dia: You have a phone call on line two. It's Manny from the district.
Ava: Ugh. Tell him I'm not here. Tell him I died. Tell him I'm on Survivor. Ah! I'll take it. Damn it, Dia! What's up, The Manny-dalorian?
Manny: Oh, like that! Can I use it?
Ava: You can absolutely buy the copyright. Is that all?
Manny: Jokes on jokes. This is fun. So, listen, as you know, since you've been principal at Abbott, test scores have gone up, absences are down, and after school programs have increased.
Ava: Yep, I truly am "that gworl."
Manny: And the district wants more principals to be "that gworls." We want to invite you to give a speech at one of our Philly School District Ed Talks. Super low lift, it's just a run-through with me, then the big show.
Ava: Ooh, how much does it pay?
Manny: It's more of a volunteer opportunity.
Ava: I do not want to do this. You are welcome for my time. Hey, Dia, you know that's strike three, right? Like, you know that, right?
Chad: Hey, Mr. J.
Mr. Johnson: What are you doing here so early, Chad?
Chad: I’m doing a career report for social studies, and I decided to shadow you and write about it.
Mr. Johnson: You got gloves?
Chad: No.
Mr. Johnson: Good. They just slow you down. Let's go.
Tommy: An Italian hoagie and an Italian hoagie, extra Italian.
Barbara: Oh, grazie, Deli Man.
Melissa: Best hoagies in West Philly.
Tommy: Well, get 'em while you can. Landlord may not renew my lease.
Melissa: What?
Barbara: No!
Tommy: First golf course comes in, then small businesses get priced out of their leases.
Barbara: But what could they possibly put here?
Melissa: The deli across the street is being turned into a freakin' smoothie shop.
Gregory: Which one? Smoothin' On Up?
Melissa: Mnh-mnh.
Gregory: On Blended Knee? Oh, it's not Fruit Goops, is it?
Janine: He knows so many different smoothie shops.
Melissa: Nope. It's gonna be a Fruit, There It Is.
Gregory: [Quiet voice] Let's go.
Barbara: Gregory, lower that roof! That deli is an institution.
Melissa: Yeah. This sucks. What, I'm supposed to drive all the way to Wawa now? Murder me!
Gregory: [Normal voice] Look, I don't know. Neighborhoods change. Okay?
Jacb: No. Greg, you don't understand. Gentrification is like a-
Gregory: Shut up. I'm tired of driving all the way to University City every time I want a 16-ounce Banana-Nut Shred with extra bee pollen.
Melissa: Your thoughts about food are war crimes and you should be sent to The Hague.
Ava: Hey, y'all. What we talking about? Either catch me up or change the subject.
Jacob: We were talking about-
Ava: Vetoed! [Chuckles] That settles that. Ugh! Not Manny trying to get me to volunteer my voice in a public setting for free.
Barbara: Ava, please explain.
Ava: He asked me to do some Ed Talk or whatever.
Janine: [Gasps] Wait, an Ed Talk? Ava, that's awesome! Congratulations!
Gregory: Yeah, that's very cool. What's the focus of your talk?
Ava: Oh, I turned it down. Did you not hear me say it was unpaid?
Barbara: Ava, you really need to reconsider. This is a great opportunity for you. And the school!
Melissa: Closest Wawa- 22 left turns away.
Jacob: Yeah, and if you do the talk, it'll put us back in the district's good graces after, you know, Janine, well...
Gregory: The district does not have a problem with Janine.
Janine: No, no. They do. They hate me. They told me they have a problem with me. But the way the district works is if you're front of mind, then your school is front of line for new resources.
Barbara: So you see, you are getting paid, just indirectly. Plus you love to boast.
Ava: I truly am great at it.
Barbara: Mm-hmm.
Janine: You should do it.
Ava: Ugh, fine.
Barbara: Yes!
Ava: But my time's coming out of your paychecks.
Janine: Uh, no, it's not.
Gregory: No, it's not.
Jacob: What? That's not fair.
Melissa: No, it’s not.
Barbara: Mnh-mnh.
Ava: Okay. Then just Jacob's.
Barbara; Fine, fine.
Janine: Okay.
Jacob: Okay, t- Wait. No.
Janine: All right. Okay. Viv, why don't you go next?
Viv: My name is Viv. I am seven years old, and my favorite thing to do is sing in the car with my mom.
Janine: Lovely. Okay, Dante, how about you?
Dante: My name is Dante. I am eight years old, and my favorite thing to do is draw.
Janine: Good job, Dante. Okay, Nate.
Nate: My name is Nate. I am seven years old, and my favorite thing to do is eat paper.
[Students giggling]
Janine: Okay, so how much paper would you say you've eaten? Like, just a teeny tiny...
Viv: He ate Peter Rabbit.
Janine: What?
[Students laughing]
Ava: Dia. Dia! Dia! Come on, girl. Hang that up real quick.
Dia: I’m sorry. Can you hold on just one second? Yes?
Ava: I am gonna kill this speech, girl. [Chuckles] I'm so happy I let the teachers talk me into doing it. I'm, like, actually working on it and enjoying it.
Dia: Ava, this is my son's doctor on the phone.
Ava: Oh, damn, girl. Take that. What are you doing?
(to camera) I just feel... validated. I always do things my way and people don't always like it. But the district has seen my methods and they want the madness. They want... the Ava-lanche.
Barbara: Really?
Chad: Isn't this more of a job for a maintenance man?
Mr. Johnson: Or a woman. But you're right. It is.
Jacob: Guys, I was just at the deli, and everyone in there is so sad. But also so fired up that I had the thought... what if we activate the neighborhood?
Gregory: What if we don't, though?
Jacob: Yeah, we could canvass and inform and-
Melissa: Yeah, you know what? We could go and pay a little visit to the University City location. You know, convince them maybe setting up in a different neighborhood is a good idea.
Barbara: And I will come along with you because I have a few choice words for Fruit, There It Is.
Jacob: Yes, I love it! Okay, are we doing this? I can make some fliers on Canva and start papering this town.
Melissa: Ooh!
Jacob: This is what being the change feels like. Are you feeling that?
Gregory: Okay. Everybody, hold on. If you're going, can you take my punch card? I'm like three punches away from a free Teddy Blendergrass.
Barbara: Boy, bye.
Gregory: Come on.
Mr. Johnson: Chad, lemme tell you something. This is gonna end in chaos.
Chad: How?
Mr. Johnson: You'll see. So much to learn, youngblood. C'mon, let's go sweep the roof. You're not afraid of heights, right?
Chad: No.
Jacob: Still time to help save the deli, Greg. I have already set up an online petition. I put fliers in all local storefronts that would let me. And I even spoke with the B.L.A.C.K.S. yesterday.
Dia: Excuse me?
Jacob: Building Love And Creating Kids' Safety. The activist group. Remember? They protested the school last year.
Gregory: Should probably get in the habit of saying the whole name.
Jacob: Yeah, well... Well, the Building Love And Creating Kids' Safe... ties are on board and mobilizing as we speak.
Melissa: About that.
Jacob: Yes! How did it go at the University City location? Did you guys really let 'em have it?
Melissa: Mm.
Barbara: So we went down there to give them a piece of our mind.
Melissa: We were raring to go.
Barbara: Walked right up to that door, put our hand on the handle. Didn't even knock.
Gregory: Don't have to. It's a store.
Barbara: But then we noticed they had free samples, and, well, after our long and taxing drive...
Melissa: Yeah, it's rude to turn down a free sample, Jacob.
Jacob: I gotta tell you, I have no idea where this is going.
Melissa: Well, the sample was so good, we considered changing our stance on the smoothie shop moving in.
Barbara: But we did not.
Melissa: Of course not.
Jacob: Oh, thank God.
Melissa: Yeah, it took multiple samples. And they're all home runs, Jacob. Seriously, what's one less deli in this deli town? Mnh-mnh. We drank yours.
Barbara: But we got one for you.
Jacob: What? We had a plan. I-I papered the community.
Barbara: Just try it, Jacob. It might change your mind.
Jacob: Oh, okay.
Melissa: Do it.
Jacob: [Chuckles] That sounds nice.
Barbara: Mm-hmm.
Melissa: Ohh!
Jacob: Psych! I am really disappointed in all of you.
Melissa: So I guess that means you don't want your punch card. [Laughs]
Gregory: I'll take that. These can be combined.
Gregory: Hello?
Janine: Hey. Sorry.
Gregory: Hey.
Janine: I’ve got a paper eater in my class, and I'm just trying to get inside his head.
Gregory: Ah. I had a girl in my class lick glue last year. But it was a one-time thing.
Janine: See, that I can handle. But apparently, he's been doing this all year.
Gregory: Maybe he's doing it for attention.
Janine: No, there's a real passion there. I tried to document it in my calendar, but the little Billy goat ate November.
Gregory: Oh, wow. Okay.
Janine: Maybe it's like an anxiety thing.
Ava: Maybe it's that, but some kids just like to eat weird stuff. I used to eat crayons. I love the snap. Get him some of that edible paper that they use on cakes. Wean him off and call it a day.
Janine: Hmm.
Ava: That's how I kicked crayons. Pretzel sticks and Kit Kats.
Janine: I licked ChapStick once.
Ava: Sicko.
Melissa: Eh, here we go.
Barbara: Mm-hmm.
Gregory: Here to tell us how anti-progress we are?
Jacob: What? [Chuckles] What are you talking about? That doesn't sound like me, does it? No, I’m- I’m- I have thought about it and I am looking forward to the new smoothie shop.
Melissa: So why the change in tune?
Jacob: Because... it is rare to see you all so excited about something, okay? Okay. And if it makes you happy to have this place nearby, then darn it, I'm happy, too, okay? Bring on the fruits, add some milk, blend it up. Let's have a good time with the little time we have on this big old rock they call Earth.
Gregory: What's that on your collar?
Jacob: What? A hickey, probably.
Gregory: You can't get a hickey on clothing. [Sniffs] That's açai. [Sniffs] With a whey protein boost. You tried Fruit, There It Is!
Janine: Wait, you Postmated a smoothie to the school? Where'd you get thirty bucks?
Jacob: I didn't Postmate anything.
Gregory: Then where'd the açai come from?
Melissa: [Gasps] You dug it out of the garbage. He dug it out of the garbage.
Barbara: Jacob! Stop eating out of the trash can!
Jacob: Look, the only thing I hate more than gentrification is waste, okay? And we as a culture, need to have a serious conversation about when trash is really just food temporarily situated in a garbage can.
Gregory: You liked it, didn't you?
Jacob: I loved it.
Gregory: Mm-hmm.
Jacob: It was... It was so fresh.
Gregory: If you like their açai, you wait till you try their secret menu. You should see me off of two shots of that wheatgrass. I'm just like whoo! Bobby, sit down.
Chad: They figured it out. Didn't seem to turn into chaos.
Mr. Johnson: The chaos hasn't even begun. That's just the tip of the trash can.
Ava: And after that is "The Art of the Scheme," where I basically address how a scheme is like a dance.
Manny: Poetic. Maybe just not for this talk. What else you got?
Ava: Okay. "Intimidation as Motivation."
Manny: Let's put a pin in that puppy as well.
Ava: Uh, "Withholding Pay as Motivation."
Manny: Illegal.
Ava: Well, I already took out "Kelly Rowland as Motivation," but I...
Manny: Hey, Ava, to be honest here, I'm starting to get a little worried.
Ava: Why?
Manny: This isn't quite what I was expecting from you for the talk. Especially the part about renting out the gym to unsanctioned groups.
Ava: Wait, are you talking about the church choir or the drսg dealers?
Manny: So listen.
Janine: Hey. Ooh. How's the presentation going?
Ava: I’m not doing the talk anymore.
Janine: Uh, por qué?
Ava: Manny changed his mind.
Janine: What? But he reached out to you. He wanted you for it.
Ava: Yes, but when he heard my presentation, he said I wasn't right for it. Said he didn't want to encourage the other principals to act like me. He basically called me "too hood" without saying it.
Janine: Okay, well, hold on now.
Ava: Janine, it's cool. I've been told I'm too much or too brash or too blunt or not right for the job my whole life. I'm used to it. If people don't like me, it's on them.
Janine: Let me see the presentation. Okay. Oh, wow. Ava. [Chuckles] This is so bad. Like, really, really terrible.
Ava: Get out.
Janine: No, no, no, it's just- Look, it's just... this isn't it, you know? Like, yes, you do those things, but it's not all you do. You make clothes for our students who need them. You put on fundraisers so that our kids can go on field trips. And you somehow understand your teachers and what they need. And that's what makes you a great principal.
Ava: Yeah, but the problem is, I don't do it "the right way."
Janine: All right. You once viciously made fun of my jelly bean belt.
Ava: Once? At least a dozenfold.
Janine: And... told me I needed to dress better because I deserved better. And I was mad at first. But you were right. Your approach might be "too whatever," but the results speak for themselves. You should focus on why you do things and not how you do them.
Ava: Wow. Look at me cheering myself up.
Janine: Okay.
Ava: But it's too late. Manny's already going with someone else.
Janine: I’m gonna put in a call to the district. Mm-hmm.
Ava: Don't they hate you?
Janine: Oh, I wouldn't call them fond of me, but Manny owes me a favor. I taught him how to ride a bike. What do you know? Always something to learn.
Jacob: Mm. Remember, your projects on Unsung Women in History are due tomorrow, okay? Shouldn't be a problem if you started when they were assigned.
Brandon: What's going on outside?
B.L.A.C.K.S.: Hey, hey! Hо, hо! That smoothie place has got to go! Hey, hey! Hо, hо! That smoothie place has got to go! Hey, hey! Hо, hо!
Jacob: Oh, no! It's the B.L.A.C.K.S.
B.L.A.C.K.S.: That smoothie place has got to go! Hey, hey! Hо, hо!
Jacob: It's... It's not what it sounds like.
B.L.A.C.K.S.: Hey, hey! Hо, hо! That smoothie place has got to go!
Jacob: Oh, my...
B.L.A.C.K.S.: Hey, hey! Hо, hо!
Jacob: Hey, there!
B.L.A.C.K.S.: That smoothie place has got to go!
Jacob: Hey, there, protesters. What, uh... What are we so upset about?
Protestor: They're trying to take away our deli and put an açai place in here! We found out about it from this flier!
B.L.A.C.K.S.: Hey, hey! Hо, hо! That smoothie place has got to go!
Jacob: The one time my canvassing works.
B.L.A.C.K.S.: Hey, hey! Hо, hо! That smoothie place has got to go!
Chad and Mr. Johnson: Chaos.
B.L.A.C.K.S.: Hey, hey! Hо, hо! That smoothie place has got to go!
B.L.A.C.K.S.: We are angry. We are mad. We like the deli. Smoothies are bad.
Melissa: Aw, there's nothing like the sound of dissent in the afternoon.
Barbara: What in the world?
Jacob: Hey. Um, you know what? Let’s- Let us consider the scene in front of us from a smoothie half full perspective.
Gregory: Oh, hell no.
Barbara: Jacob, I need my smoothies.
Melissa: Jacob, I haven't been this regular in five years. Fix this!
Jacob: Wow! Okay, okay, okay. Hey, everyone! [Chuckles] I'm loving the energy, okay? But you know who the real enemy is here? Fracking. Fracking is bad. Frack is wack! Let's get that going. That’s-That's catchy.
[Crowd boos]
Melissa: Hey, hey, do protests even really work? I mean, the Chiefs are still a team, am I right?
Barbara: No, no. What we need to do is bottle up all of this passion and then pour it on the golf course. Because after all, that is what is destroying this neighborhood.
Melissa: Barb. Barb, if the golf course goes away, the smoothie shop goes away, right?
Barbara: And so don't do that. Thank you.
Tommy: Are you all protesting me?
B.L.A.C.K.S.: No!
Tommy: Then why are you doing this in front of my place?
Abdul: I don't know! The instructions weren't clear.
Jacob: My bad. My bad.
Abdul: Save the deli!
B.L.A.C.K.S.: Save the deli!
Ava: And then I'd like to end on creative solutions for stretching a limited budget.
(to camera) So Janine called the district, and they really do hate her, which tracks. But I'm grateful they're gonna give me another chance at the run-through. I think I know what they want now.
Manny: (over computer) Incredible. That's what we're looking for, Ava.
Ava: So I'm good for the speech tomorrow night?
Manny: (over computer) Yes.
Ava: And just to clarify...
Manny: (over computer) Still unpaid.
Ava: [Chuckles] Had to ask. You know, things change. [Laughs]
Manny: (over computer) Of course. Well, it's good to see you. Thank-
Melissa: Looks like they're getting tired.
Barbara: Well, I guess this might blow over after all.
Tommy: I just got a call from the landlord. Said he didn't realize kicking me out would be such a big ass-ache. Now he's renewing my lease. I guess you guys did it.
[Crowd cheering]
Barbara: Well, how about that, Jacob?
Melissa: Once again, a white man comes into a community of color and makes things worse.
Gregory: I should have known better than to dream. I'm gonna go in and buy a Mountain Dew.
Jacob: No! [Scoffs]
Chad: Hey, Mr. J! I finished my report for social studies. Thanks for letting me shadow you.
Mr. Johnson; What'd you learn?
Chad: Sweep before you mop. Chaos is inevitable here. And that you need these.
Mr. Johnson: I don't, but thanks.
Janine: Hi. Good morning, Viv. Good morning. Oh, Nate. Hi. Come on over here. Look at what I just got. Edible paper.
Nate: Isn't that all paper?
Janine: Just trust me and try it. Cleanse that palate. Well?
Nate: It... kind of tastes like a cookie. Kind of makes me want to have cookies. Do we have any cookies?
Janine: I will have one for you at lunch.
Nate: Thanks, Miss Teagues.
Janine:You're welcome.
(to camera) That paper tip Ava gave me... that was pretty good. She can be really surprising. It's another great thing about her.
Ava:I still maintain that the most crucial aspect of this job is empowering our students and staff. When someone can't see the potential that you see in them, they might need a little push. And it's up to us as leaders to give it to them.
[Crowd applauds]
Ava: Yes. Double jacket.
Principal #1: How do you toe the line between giving encouragement and giving orders or even overstepping?
Ava: I’d say repetition. Let me give you an example. A member of my staff dressed as a nun going on vacat... No? Um, a member of my staff was stuck in a rut. But by being consistent with subtle advice, her perspective shifted and she was able to make small changes that led to her becoming the incredible educator that she is today. How you give the advice is up to you because it's not always about the how. It's about the end result.
[Crowd applauds]
Ava: And that's how I saved the school from ringworm. Mm!
Manny: Ava, that was sick. Thank you again for volunteering.
Ava: No problem. I love doing it.
Principal #2: It was so good. You know, people actually do get paid for this?
Ava: Paid?
Manny: Not here, but at private speaking engagements and seminars.
Principal #2: Oh, yeah.
Ava: Like how much?
Principal #2: Like thousands of dollars.
Ava: Thousands, you say?
Principal #2: Mm-hmm.
Ava: Well, this has been a pleasure. If you guys want to keep speaking to me, it'll be $1,000.
[Laughter]
Principal #2: Oh.
Jacob: Get excited, people. The deli is making smoothies now.
Janine: Oh!
Jacob: And they sent these as a thank you for saving a beloved small business from the clutches of gentrificach.
Janine: Well, it's a win-win. The neighborhood gets to keep a local fave and we get free smoothies.
Gregory: Deli smoothies. They don't have the training.
Barbara: Oh, well, I guess these will just have to do.
Jacob: Enjoy the refreshing taste of community action.
Melissa: Chindon!
Barbara: Hey!
Janine: Love it. No.
Melissa: Oh.
Barbara: Oh, fallen angels! That is vile!
Melissa: What is in this? Mango Mortadella Fusion?
Gregory: Is that menthol?
Jacob: Appears we have the same flavor. Menthol Madness.
Melissa: Ugh!
Janine: Mine is... it's mostly Nerd Clusters and... Hot Fries. Yeah, which, honestly, I’m-
Student: Are you ready?
Janine: Oh, wait, guys, I'm in next.
Gregory: No, wait. Hold on. Hold on, hold on.
Students: Whoo! Eee!
