Ava: An e-mail from me? To what do I owe the pleasure?
(from computer video) What's up, future me? It's me. Past you. Reporting from the first day of school, where things are going swimmingly because of my ace leadership. I timed this e-mail for you to receive on the last day of school so that we can congratulate ourselves on all the goals we accomplished.
Alright, let's go.
(from computer video) Congratulations on reading four hundred books in one school year.
Damn! I wouldn't lie to me, so, continue.
(from computer video) And by now, you must be fluent in Mandarin. So, allow me to be the first to say, "Ni hao cong ming!"
And that to you, as well.
(from computer video) Hey, how's the art class liking that new pottery wheel you got them?
Oh, that's who that was for.
(from computer video) Be proud. Your teachers came to you all year for guidance, and you gave it to them.
Jacob: Ava, can you help me with-
Ava: Figure it out yourself.
Jacob: Wow. You're right. I can figure this out. Thanks, Ava.
Ava: You're welcome.
(from computer video) You're welcome. So, give us a pat on the back.
Still got it.
[Maker’s "Hold’em” playing]
♪♪
Janine: Look, Alex. This is a plant from the Goofball Garden that Mr. Eddie gave me. See how much it's grown?
Alex: It didn't grow that much.
Janine: Well, wait till you see it next year when you come to school every day.
Alex: We'll see.
Janine: No, we will see you at school every day next year.
(to camera) This might shock you, but I actually love the last day of school. It's such a nice goodbye, because you know you'll say hi again next year. It's a pleasant wind-down. And I love Move Up Day, where the kindergartners "graduate" to first grade. It is so cute. [Chuckles] It's also a great time to reflect. I wasn't here most of the year, but I'm proud of myself for following my heart back to Abbott. And, uh, to celebrate, I am throwing the party of all parties at my place. [Chuckles] Everybody's invited- except for the students and most of the teachers.
Ava: Welcome, everyone, to Move Up Day!
[Cheers and applause]
Ava: Once again, reminding you to hold all applause until the end of the ceremony. Jeremiah Banks!
Jeremiah’s Mom: That's my baby!
Jeremiah’s Dad: Go 'head, Junebug!
[Cheers and applause]
Janine: You're technically meeting your students for next year right now.
Gregory: Oh, yeah, that's true.
Janine: Right?
Gregory: I can't believe the school year's already over.
Janine: I know. What are your plans for the summer?
Gregory: Oh, I'm actually really excited about that. So, I'm going to take the Goofball grant money, and then I'm going to-
Melissa: Hey, Janine.
Janine: Yeah.
Melissa: So, for your party tonight, are you sure you don't want to do it at Barbara's since she offered? And since it's a house and has rooms, plural?
Janine: Look, while that offer has the power to give me a joy stroke-
Gregory: Mnh-mnh, don't say that.
Janine: Why not?
Gregory: It doesn't mean what you think it does.
Melissa: No, it doesn't.
Janine: Really? Okay. Well, my place will do just fine.
Melissa: You live in a refurbished entryway.
Mr. Johnson: What are we gossiping about? Gregory's sweater T-shirt? Man, make up your mind. Is it a sweater, or is it a T-shirt? Oh, hey, hey, hey, man.
Jacob: No, we're trying to convince Janine to have her party in a more spacious space. Some of us have had a rough year.
Melissa: Preach.
Jacob: And broke up with their partner and best friend who will no longer speak to them…
Mr. Johnson: Preach.
Jacob: …and find themselves-
Janine: Guys, I hear you, and I can assure you all that I have gotten all 350 square feet-
Mr. Johnson: 350 square what? Why don't you just throw the damn party in my mop's closet?
Janine: 350 square feet of my big-enough apartment into party mode.
Melissa: Alright, I'll bring some limoncello.
Janine: No. I've got it covered. Just bring your wonderful self.
Melissa: Maybe just some wine-
Janine: Hey, Mel. Just don't, alright?
Ava: Last but not least, Jamal Wilkins. And there you have it! They said you couldn't do it.
[Audience gasps]
Barbara: No, they didn't. No one said that.
Ava: But look at you now! Congratulations to the class of 2024! You're all moving on up!
[Cheers and applause]
Janine: See you all at 8:00.
Janine: Showtime. Hey, guys. Come on in.
Barbara: Thank you very much, Janine, and wow! You neighborhood is quite the work in progress.
Melissa: You need anything? A knife, a Taser, stale baguette?
Janine: No, guys, I feel safe. I have ADT and wonderful neighbors who love watching over me or watching me and a cardboard cutout of Allen Iverson, so people think he lives here.
Melissa: No judgment or anything, kid, but your place seems a little disheveled.
Janine: [Sighs] Yeah, I know. I have just been so busy. I wish I had more time to make it presentable.
Barbara: Don't you worry, sweetheart. We're gonna get this place together.
Janine: Oh.
Melissa: And don't you dare try to help, because you'll just slow us down.
Janine: Oh, my goodness. Thank you so much. I mean, I've been such a wreck.
Barbara: Lucky for you, we got here early.
Janine: (to camera) Luck? I don't know her. I knew that Mel and Barb would show up at 7:00. In fact, I planned for it. As I have planned this entire party to the tee, so that every individual coming will have the time of their lives. I knew they would have no choice but to help the life of poor, little Janine. [Laughs] It doesn't stop there. While they have activity, the antisocials will have a section. The gamers will have a section. The dancers will have a section. I even have a movie room where I'll be showing We're the Millers. And that's not your first choice, is it? Yeah, try it. Thank me later. I have all the necessary drinks and fun enhancers and more. I have so perfectly planned for everything that in three seconds, watch this. Three, two, one. [Mouths words]
Barbara: Janine, do you have any sponges? This kitchen is a mess! [Chuckles]
Melissa: Are these your only spices? Salt, pepper, Lawry's, and Tajín? And why are they in separate cabinets?
Janine: [Chuckles] Perfection.
Janine: Hold on, please.
Avi and Jacob: Hi!
Janine: Hi! What's up, guys?
Ava: Get out of my way. I got a party to save.
Janine: Ava, you're an hour late. Right on time.
Jacob: I thought you said it starts at 8:00.
Janine: It does.
Avi: The strobe light effect is amazing.
Janine: Yes, an intentional strobe, not broken light that's too high to reach, exactly.
Jacob: Okay, I know you said not to bring anything, but this raspberry stout was aged in bourbon barrels, and, girl, let me tell you this is, like-
Avi: Rude yet generous. I like it.
Janine: Yes. Right this way, gentlemen. You'll be stationed over here in the social section.
Jacob: Hmm. Okay.
Janine: Hey, Gregory.
Gregory: Hey, you look nice.
Janine: Thank you. I'm glad you came.
Mr. Johnson: You're welcome. I parked my G-Wagen in the red. So, if I get a ticket, we're splitting it.
[Laughter]
Janine: Okay, yeah, sure. Of course. Mr. Johnson, for you, I have the dominoes section.
Mr. Johnson: [Laughs] Oh, this is a "party" party.
Janine: Yes. And for you, Gregory Eddie, I thought you might enjoy the "socially awkward but trying" section.
Gregory: I love the layout. This is prime.
Janine: Right?
Manny: She's not in the minors 'cause she's the Big Teagues! Gregory Eddie, what's up?
Janine: Hey, guys.
Gregory: (to camera) Manny? Oh, yeah, no, he's great. I was, um I'm happy that Janine is still cool with her district people.
Janine: What's up? Welcome.
Emily: Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, no! I'm so sorry. I knew I was unworthy of this party. I'll leave.
Simon: Yeah, just go.
Janine: No, guys. Emily, it's fine, really. I mean, hakuna matata. [Whispers] Prop vase.
Melissa: Yeah, it's not a party until something breaks.
Janine: [Whispers] Bingo!
[Joey Valence & Brae’s “Ready Set” playing]
♪♪
Ava: I’m out. I got to get home and get ready. This was my pre-party before the party. Y'all got Spotify.
Janine: Ava, you're leaving already? I paid you.
Ava: Not my full rate.
Janine: No one's gonna pay you a million dollars, Ava.
Ava: It only takes one, and you're not it, so I'm not staying.
Janine: You know what? You're right. But before you head out, can you say a quick hi to my little cousin, Kwame?
♪ When the last time y'all heard it like this? ♪
Kwane: Janine and I were like best friends growing up.
Ava: Mm. That's wild, 'cause we're like sisters.
♪ Toss me the keys to the cherry-red Benz ♪
Janine: Where's Mr. Johnson?
Erika: You got somebody for Ava but not for me? There's like four dudes in here. And half of them are gay.
Janine: Erika. Let me introduce you to my emotionally unavailable, fiscally irresponsible, racially ambiguous, well-chained friend Simon.
Simon: Hmm?
Janine: He owns a condo he can't afford.
Simon: Sup, girl? [Laughs]
Erika: Ooh. You hold right there.
Simon: Okay.
Erika: Young, ethnic Adam Sandler.
Simon: [Laughs] Ah-shoo-ba-de-bee! Right?
Erika: I’ll be right back, okay? I'm gonna talk to my girl. Okay, update me real quick. Gregory here. What you doing with that?
Janine: Nothing, okay? He's my co-worker. It could affect our jobs. There are rules. So I'm just gonna move on, I guess.
Erika: Okay, girl. Come on. Let's go play "Simon Says."
Simon: Okay.
Erika: You've played that before?
Simon: Baby girl, I invented that game.
Erika: Ooh.
♪ Let me end it on a high note ♪
♪ My motion is… ♪
Barbara: Oh, so many books, and not one of them the Good Book.
Melissa: “The Joy of Reheating Takeout"? Janine, I taught you better than this.
Emily: And that’s- Yeah. I'd say that's the beginning of her "it girl" phase two.
Janine: Wow, you know a lot about Kristen Stewart.
Emily: Well, I'm gay.
Janine: Oh. Yeah. "It's Morton. Please help. The bouncer won't let me in." What? Uh, I'll be right back. What is going on?
Mr. Morton: He's not letting me in. Says my name's not on the list.
Janine: Okay. Mr. Johnson, we don't need a bouncer. Could you please go back to your dominoes? The party won't work if everyone's not in their section. And Mr. Morton, um, how about the puzzlers' corner?
Mr. Morton: Great. My wife said to go where I'm wanted. What do you think she meant by that?
Jacob: Why is Zach here giving his signature hand massages?
Zach: Now, that's a knot.
Melissa: Oh, I thought that was a knuckle.
Janine: Zach is here because he's my friend, too. Which, if I remember correctly, you wanted.
Jacob: Must I reap what I always fruitfully sow?
Janine: I know it bothers you not to be on speaking terms with Zach. Why not change that tonight?
Jacob: Fine.
Janine: (to camera) Another factor that makes a perfect party- Everyone gets along. Relationships can get messy, but they don't have to stay that way. You just have to figure out where people can fit in your life again and then build up from there. Kind of like Jenga. Wait, why is no one in the Jenga section?
Okay, let's get you back to Jenga, and you-
Mr. Johnson: Janine, we got Olive Oil at the door.
Janine: Mr. Johnson, I told you we-
Olivia: Olivia.
Janine: Hey.
Olivia: Hi. I-I gave your bouncer a $20, but he said that I had to wait for a couple ladies to leave before I could go in.
Janine: Yeah, no. Um, I remember you. Yeah. You work with Avi, right?
Olivia: Yes.
Janine: Yes. Mr. Johnson, could you give her back her $20? Okay, I'll get it for you later. You want to just come in?
Olivia: I hope it's okay that I'm here. Avi invited me, but then my phone died. I couldn't text him.
Janine: Oh, of course. Welcome to the party. Now, which section do you belong in?
[Sum 41’s “Fat Lip” playing]
[Guests cheer]
Janine: What the hell? It's not time for white bops yet. Hi, Emily. What are you doing?
Emily: It's DJ District now, and school is in session!
Janine: No, no, no. I paid Ava.
♪ Like my name was El Niño ♪
♪ When I'm hanging out drinking ♪
♪ In the back of an El Camino ♪
Janine: Hey, why are you here? The make-out section's in the corner.
Ava: The make-out section is wherever me and your cousin end up in ten minutes. [Laughs] Make that five.
Janine: You know what?
♪ Attention that we crave ♪
♪ don't tell us to behave ♪
♪ I'm sick of always hearin' "Act your age" ♪
♪ I don't wanna waste my time ♪
Janine: Sea Barbara?
Barbara: Whoo! Ahoy, sweetie!
Janine: Okay. Yeah, brown liquor. I got you wine coolers.
Barbara: That's a land drink. I needed to put wind underneath my sails!
Janine: And- And you, you're supposed to be cleaning.
Melissa: I am cleaning- cleaning up the dance floor! Hey! That's right!
Man: Yo, why he not blue?
Janine: Wakanda? Is that Wakanda Forever? Excuse me.
Queen Ramonda: (from television) What can I offer…
Janine: No, guys. No, no, no. The movie's not supposed to be compelling, okay? Change it back.
Manny: But Namor.
Gregory, Manny, and Zach: And Angela.
[Guests cheer]
Janine: Why are people dancing? It's supposed to be a party!
Olivia: Hey, do you have a charger?
Janine: Yeah, I have a charger. I have an entire charging section. Why- Why are you doing the worm? Oh. [Chuckles] Guys, I know the dance section is great, but remember your sections, people. Structure is fun! Morton, get your ass back to the puzzles!
Mr. Morton: But they're watching Wakanda Forever.
Janine: Hold this.
Olivia: Don’t- Don't worry about it.
Janine: No, no, it's okay. It's fine. I can create a space for you.
Olivia: Careful, 'cause sockets are the number-one source of home electrocution.
Janine: I promise you it's totally fine, okay? [Imitates being electrocuted] [Chuckles] I'm just I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm playing. It's gonna be totally okay.
[Guests groan]
Ava: Ooh, perfect.
Janine: Okay, slight hiccup, but don't leave. Um, just go outside, get some fresh air. The lights will be on soon.
Mr. Johnson: Guess I created a butterfly effect when I left the dominoes section. I'll fix it.
Janine: Yeah. Okay. I'll go find a flashlight. [Sighs]
Barbara: ♪ I need my shoes, da-bum ♪
Janine: [Whispers] Where is it? [Yells] Aah! Aah!
Gregory: [Yells] Aah! [Normal voice] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! It's just me. Did the power go out, or did this turn into a very different kind of party? What are you doing down there?
Janine: I’m looking for a flashlight. I blew a fuse- or every fuse, okay? See, this is why people need to stay in their sections!
Gregory: Well, it's probably just an electrical issue. I did see three blenders plugged in.
Janine: Yeah, and then I tried charging a phone. Olivia's, actually.
Gregory: Oh, yeah, it's really great that she came.
Janine: [Sighs] You know what? Just- Battery powered. [Sighs]
Barbara: I am the captain now!
Gregory: Are you good?
Janine: It was just going so well.
Gregory: Even with the blackout, it's still a hell of a party. And sections and protocols are cool, but parties can be fun without rules, too. This was the perfect way to kick off the summer.
Janine: Mm.
Gregory: You gonna throw some more of these?
Janine: Maybe. Yeah. Oh, speaking of the summer, you were, um- you were telling me something at the Move Up Day about this summer?
Gregory: Oh!
Janine: Yeah.
Gregory: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Janine: Mm-hmm.
Gregory: So… I'm doing a summer program for the Goofballs. It's nothing huge, just a few days a week to maintain the garden that we planted in the spring. It's the first big project I'm gonna use to grant money for.
Janine: Wow.
Gregory: I'm very excited.
Janine: No, I can tell.
[Gregory and Janine laugh]
Janine: I just can't help but think about when you first got to Abbott, and you were all business. And look at you now. You are teaching in the summer in a garden that you created with a club that you started. I just, um I really admire you.
Gregory: Me? I mean look at everything you did this year. The Janine I met the first day would have never left Abbott to try something new. And she definitely wouldn't let all these people in her place with their shoes on. You try new things, and you're brave. You care about people. That's what I admire about you.
Mr. Johnson: It's a miracle! And I am God. Ooh, what's this, now?
Janine: Um… Mr. Johnson, you fixed it. How?
Mr. Johnson: 'Cause I'm an adult.
Janine: Mm.
Mr. Johnson: I’ll show you. Time for the teacher to become the janitor. Come on.
Janine: Okay. [Sighs]
♪ 'Cause I'll be better, well, I'll show you how ♪
♪ I'll show you how, yeah ♪
♪ I will never stop, I will never stop ♪
♪ I will never ♪
♪ I put in 10,000 hours ♪
Janine: Wow, I always thought that was a little room for mice or the Borrowers. Okay, so, do I just not plug as much stuff in, or?
Mr. Johnson: No, plug in what you want. If another fuse blows, I'll just fix it again.
Janine: Mr. Johnson, how do you do it?
Mr. Johnson: You just flip the fuse switch.
Janine: No, no, I mean, how do you just live your life doing whatever you want? Aren't you afraid things will go wrong?
Mr. Johnson: Things will go wrong whether you're doing what you want or not. For me, regrets have always been harder to live with than consequences.
Janine: Yeah, but what if the consequences are really bad?
Mr. Johnson: You kill someone?
Janine: What?
Mr. Johnson: I won't rat.
Janine: No, no, no, no, no. I just mean, like what… if you could lose your job?
Mr. Johnson: Who cares?
Janine: [Scoffs] Really?
Mr. Johnson: Jobs come and jobs go. I've quit, been fired, been replaced on the panel by Paula Abdul right before the show blew up.
Janine: Hmm.
Mr. Johnson: But I don't regret leaving them behind to live my life to the fullest.
Janine: But I love this job.
♪ All the way ♪
♪ I'm all the way lit ♪
♪ All the way, all the way ♪
♪ I'm all the way lit ♪
Mr. Johnson: It'll be alright. Trust me.
♪ Go blind trynna look at me, whoa ♪
♪ Go blind trynna look at me ♪
♪ Be mine ♪
♪ I'mma let you be mine ♪
Mr. Morton: Boom! Yes!
Janine: Nice, Morton.
Man: Hey!
♪ See you all around my way ♪
♪ Been meaning to say hi ♪
♪ But I'm just way too shy ♪
♪ I gotta make you see this is ♪
♪ More than just a silly crush ♪
♪ And I ♪
♪ Wonder if you even notice me ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ You gotta feel me ♪
♪ And I ♪
♪ Would love you good ♪
♪ Just wanna be your girl ♪
♪ Oh, oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ I wonder, I wonder ♪
[Crowd cheers]
♪ You gotta feel me ♪
Crowd: [Chants] Janine! Janine! Janine! Janine! Janine! Go Janine! Go Janine!
Janine: Bye. Good luck on your marriage, Morton. Okay? Oh.
Barbara: Shiver me timbers, tiny bucko! Time to abandon ship!
Janine: Okay.
Melissa: [Laughs] Congrats, kid. Your party made Sea Barbara go full pirate. Didn't know you had it in you.
Janine: Okay, yo, ho, ho. Leave the rum.
Melissa: Oh.
Janine: Oh.
Melissa: Oops.
Janine: How'd that get there? [Chuckles] Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, hey, guys. Um, you know, you can stay. There's no last call at Club Janine.
Erika: Oh, no, no, no. I got to keep moving, or else I'll black out.
Janine: Oh, no. What about Simon?
Erika: We broke up.
Avi: Oh, no, you guys were so good together.
Jacob: Forget him.
Avi: Yeah, you deserve better.
Janine: Well… Oh, um… Gregory, you-
(to camera) Yeah, if Gregory would've stayed, I would have told him how I felt, which is that I like him and I want to be with him. Whoo! That feels good to say out loud. [Chuckles] I want to be with him. But he left.
Jacob: [Laughs] Okay. How about I get the cheeseburger…
Avi: Okay.
Jacob: …and then if you get a- Whoa, whoa, where are you going? She clearly wanted you to stay. I don't know what you're so worried about, if it- if it's HR or the rules or that text message, but maybe you should be a little more worried about that.
Gregory: It has nothing to do with that, okay? I don't even care about the rules at this point, but Manny is inside.
Avi: Isn't that him literally leaving?
Gregory: Okay, that's weird, but I'm pretty sure that they're dating.
Erika: I’m pretty sure they're not. He asked, but the thing about dates, Gregory, is that the other person has to say yes. Janine shut that down. Told Mr. Manny that she likes somebody else.
Janine: (to camera) You know what? No. I am done waiting. I bet I can still catch him. Okay.
Gregory: I fixed your light.
Ava: Forty-three, forty-four, forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven-
Melissa: That's insane!
Jacob: That was incredible!
Mr. Johnson: What I get?
Melissa: Forty-eight second headstand.
Jacob: Well done.
Barbara: Hm. That isn't so long.
Mr. Johnson: Well, you do it, then!
Ava: None of us are doing that.
Mr. Johnson: Then I guess that makes me headstand champion.
Barbara: Unh-unh. Hold my hoagie!
Jacob: Uh-oh!
Barbara: Excuse me.
Ava: Don't encourage her.
[Laughter, indistinct chatter]
Jacob: Go Barb!
Mr. Johnson: You missed a spot!
