(Video playing indistinctly on cellphone)
(Children giggling)
Jacob: Clarence.
Clarence: Here.
Jacob: Tiffany.
Tiffany: Present.
Jacob: Raheem.
Raheem: Mimimimimi.
(Class laughs)
Jacob: What was that, Raheem? I don't think that was even English. But as a polyglot, I am open to expression in any language.
Tiffany: Mr. C, you must be moss, 'cause clearly, you live under a rock.
Jacob: Well, I actually live over an ALDI, but, uh, wha... what do you... What are you talking about?
Raheem: It's "The Silly Sock Show." You know, it's a family of socks, and they do funny stuff.
Tiffany: It's everywhere.
(Cellphone beeps, upbeat music plays)
Clarence: This is Jim, the gym sock. He sings. That's Toeseph and...
Tiffany: Toesha. They're twins.
(Sock puppets speaking gibberish)
Jacob: I don't get it. It's just a bunch of socks saying gibberish.
Terrence: I'll show him. My sock's already off. Mi-mi-mi-mi-mimimi.
(Class laughs)
Mr. Johnson: That is spot-on Toesha.
Jacob: Wait, what? You know this sock show?
Mr. Johnson: Of course. I've survived every trend... "Spongebob," "Adventure Time," Gangsta "Looney Tunes." Now there's a silly sock show. I speak fluent Sock. Watch this. Mi-mi-mmi-mi-Mi-mimimi.
(Class laughs)
Jacob: Hey, what did... What did he say?
Tiffany: He said, "This white fool don't know his socks are mismatched." Shameful.
Class: Mimimimimimimi. (Laughing)
(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)
♪♪
Barbara: I hope this isn't another assembly about a new e-mail system. I am not doing two-step verification. They can just hack me.
Melissa: They did hack you. Remember when your account sent out all that pornography?
Barbara: I do not.
Melissa: Okay.
Janine: Hey. Is that seat taken? 'Cause I can stand. It builds chair-acter.
(Janine and Gregory laugh)
(to camera) It's been a couple of days since the teachers' conference where Gregory and I... got caught up in a moment, which was nothing. But now, you know, we are so good. It's, like, not weird at all. (Laughs awkwardly)
Gregory: It's actually not taken, but it could be taken. By you, if... If you wanted to take it.
Janine: Yeah, 'cause there's nowhere else to sit. So, yeah.
Gregory: Right. Okay.
Janine: Okay, so.
Gregory: So that's, um...
Ava: Sit down, Janine.
Janine: Okay.
Ava: Everyone settle down. I have a very important announcement to make in a short amount of time. My Postmates is around the corner. It's about damn time, José L. Who are you again?
Jacob: They're Mural Arts... Mural Arts Philadelphia.
Ava: Oh, right. Welcome Mural Arts, who we like and are excited for. Right?
Audience: Yeah.
Jacob: (to camera) So, Mural Arts has a program that goes from school to school, creating these amazing, inspiring murals with the students. I've been applying for years, but they are finally here now, and best of all, the mural is going right outside my classroom.
Gabe: We're so excited to be at Abbott. We'll be here for one week. These murals are about legacy. And we're excited to work with you all to figure out what represents legacy for Abbott Elementary.
Jacob: See? You guys get to talk with your classmates and put on for the school.
Clarence: Can't wait, Mr. C.
Jacob: Alright.
Ava: You know, if y'all need to warm up, my apartment could use a fresh coat of Benjamin Moore.
Gabe: Uh, we only paint murals.
Ava: Okay, then paint a eggshell blizzard on my wall.
(Indistinct conversations)
Erika: Oh, hey, you. (Chuckles) Damn. You in the classroom right next to him, and you dating his best friend?
Janine: Erika, there are children around. Anyway, I think I'm going to break up with Mo.
Erika: Oh, to get with Gregory.
Janine: No. No, no, no. No, no. No, it's just that, you know, the kiss made me think if I'm kissing other guys, then how much do I really want to be with Mo? Right?
Erika: Mm.
Janine: So, I'm gonna tell him everything that happened...
Erika: Ah, ah, ah. What are you talking about? Mo is not your husband. All he did was take you out on a couple dates and buy you a reasonably priced bag that you don't even like. But I do, and my birthday is coming up, so... Look, you are in the clear for some extracurricular activities.
Janine: I just feel like I owe him an honest conversation.
Erika: You don't owe him details. Look, all that's going to do is hurt his feelings and potentially ruin his friendship with Gregory.
Janine: Maybe you're right.
Louis: Are you two done gossiping? Can we go now?
Erika: Oh! Keep me updated. This is the type of excitement I need in my life. You a dork, but you messy, girl. (Laughs)
Melissa: Barb. Oh, my God. This e-mail I just got.
Barbara: No, not the porno again.
Melissa: No, I was looking into what Kristin Marie said about Legendary trying to turn Abbott charter, and she was right. There's an online petition a couple of our parents started to "make Abbott part of Legendary Charter."
Barbara: The audacity!
Melissa: Mm-hmm.
Barbara: Now, what would make them do something like that?
Melissa: Well, they probably got schmoozed by Legendary. They have a pretty good rep.
Barbara: There's got to be something we can do to stop this.
Melissa: There's a phone number that we can call to talk about the petition.
Barbara: Well, maybe we should call. You know, pretend like we're interested parents.
Melissa: Yeah, I th... You know, I should do it, 'cause I do the best character work, like, (Heavy New York accent) "Hey, youse guys, we're interested in going Charter over here."
Ava: Okay, Robert De No-No.
Barbara: (Laughs) Maybe I should do it. Oh.
(As Mrs. Doubtfire) 'Ello, dearie. Yes. You know, I'm interested in receiving some information about turning Abbott charter. Yes.
(Normal voice) It's working.
(Jamaican accent) Yeah, man. I said go. You just go and send me the information like that? Bye-bye.
Melissa: I'm not going to lie, Barb, that was pretty fricking good.
Ava: Barb, I had no idea you were this talented. You a damn genius.
Barbara: We are going to need all the genius we can get, because the damn Legendary is coming for us.
(Normal voice) Legendary is coming for us.
Melissa: (Clears throat) We got it.
Ava: Yeah.
Jacob: Janine. Oh, good.
Mr. Johnson: Get off my floors.
Jacob: My students are with Mural Arts, deciding their legacy, like as we speak. Talk about the room where it happens.
Janine: Oh, wow. Can't wait to see what they pick. Wait, why aren't you in there with them?
Jacob: Well, I removed myself because I don't want to influence their decision.
Janine: I still remember the mural we did on my school. Think about it every time I drive by.
Jacob: Oh. Yeah, exactly. See? You were a part of a legacy that will not be forgotten.
Mr. Johnson: Legacy is important. That's why my picture's hanging on the Wall of Flame for eating 50 spicy chicken wings at Wing Bowl.
Janine: Wait a second. That is you up there? I always thought that was Michael Jordan.
Mr. Johnson: I get that a lot. The only difference between that MJ and this MJ is I can hit a curveball.
Gabe: Mr. Hill, your students have made a decision.
Jacob: Remember this moment...
Janine: Oh, oh.
Jacob: Because history certainly will.
Janine: Impressive.
Gabe: We had a great discussion. Lots of incredible ideas being thrown around about what they want their legacy to be. And we finally landed on something pretty special.
Jacob: Ooh, let me guess. John Coltrane? Will Smith? Oh, my God. It's not me, is it? (Inhales sharply)
(Laughs) Okay, yeah. You got me. Boo-yah. Wow. I love a good prank. Seriously, though, what, um... What did you decide?
Tiffany: Can you not see those socks?
Jacob: This is what everyone wanted?
Class: Yes.
Jacob: Finally, a voice of reason. Clarence, talk to me.
Clarence: Mr. C, on behalf of all the class, I'd like to say... Mimimimimimimiiii.
(Class laughs)
Jacob: Okay, I am processing this. It's just that we came up with so many great ideas in the room before. So I'm a little thrown off here. Did they even mention legacy?
Gabe: They did. Then someone called legacy "leg-assy." Then everyone laughed. But then they came up with the sock show idea, and that seemed to engage them the most.
Jacob: Could you possibly give us one more day to land on a subject?
Gabe: Sure, but remember, we leave Friday. We're on a strict schedule. The arts aren't going to mural themselves.
Jacob: Mm, well said. Thank you. I appreciate it.
Gabe: Of course. Of... Oh, by the way, they showed me the show. It's hilarious. You see that one where Toeseph said, "Mi? Mi mimimi Mimi"? (Laughs) What won't he say?
Barbara: We need to show Legendary that we mean business.
Melissa: Mm-hmm.
Barbara: There's power in numbers.
Melissa: Mm-hmm.
Barbara: I need to write my congregation for a letter of support.
Melissa: Or I could write a note to Draemond, the untraceable kind. Get my kids to cut out letters from a magazine. That'll be fun.
Ava: You know, me and Iggy been re-watching those "Star Wars" movies, and resisting a massive evil empire seems like a lot. Are we positive we don't want to be a charter school? Because I don't get what's so bad.
Melissa: They don't even require all their teachers be certified.
Barbara: Yet they take our funding. Not to mention, the private money from wealthy donors with ulterior motives.
Ava: Hello. Weird cash swirling around? Don't threaten me with a good time.
Barbara: Oh, you know, not every student in the neighborhood could count on attending Abbott if we turned charter. Now, what if only half of these students got to come here next year?
Ava: Which half?
Melissa: Ava, charter schools write your lesson plans for you.
Ava: Well, I don't ever plan on reading those, but that sounds great.
Melissa: It's not! You lose all your individuality. Kristin Marie told me that they sit there and make sure that you use their exact words.
Ava: Well, you two need to work on your pitch, because it sounds like Abbott might be on the cusp of a glow-up.
Maurice: Oh. He lives.
Gregory: Hey, yeah, man. I'm still kicking.
Maurice: Tell that to the group chat, bro. You been MIA.
Gregory: That's because you create a new group chat every time you can't find the old one. I can't keep up with all 57.
Maurice: Whatever. I'm just here to surprise Janine with lunch. Hopefully she likes surprises. And lunch.
Gregory: (to camera) Me and Maurice are fine. We're totally fine. I mean, we're friends. Why wouldn't we be? That wasn't an awkward interaction. You're awkward.
Janine: Oh, well, hey, Maurice. Hello. I wasn't, uh, expecting to see you at my place of work.
Maurice: Your MoDates has arrived.
Janine: Oh.
Maurice: Get it? It's like Postmates, but I'm Mo and we're dating.
Janine: Oh. (Laughs) Aww, thank you. Five stars. (Laughs)
Maurice: So, um, you want to hang out tomorrow?
Janine: Um, yeah. 100%. I would love to. Yeah. Maybe we can go someplace quiet, where... Where we could talk.
Maurice: Wow. You trying to go to Bone Town? Philly's Bone Town? The rib joint.
Janine: Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. I... I would love to go to Bone Town with you.
Maurice: Cool.
Janine: Alright. (Sighs)
Jacob: Okay. Today is the day that we pick a meaningful, compelling mural that you will remember for the rest of your life.
Tiffany: What was wrong with "The Silly Sock Show"?
Class: Yeah.
Jacob: Alright, class, uh, how about we go on an imaginary ride with your boy? It's 20 years from now. Your boo-thing is sitting shotgun, and your little one's in a car seat that you have trouble strapping in. You pull up to Abbott, and you look out the window.
Tiffany: Wait. I thought the mural was going to be inside.
Raheem: Why am I spending my time cruising by a school?
Clarence: Yeah.
Raheem: That's creepy.
Jacob: Okay. You're... You're inside, dropping your little one off.
Clarence: I'm not sending my kids here.
Terrence: Yeah. What has gone so wrong in my life that I have to send my kids to Abbott?
Class: Mm-hmm.
Jacob: Look, okay, you are an adult here, speaking for Career Day, and you see a mural... The mural you worked so hard on with your classmates. Your legacy. Now, in your mind's eye, is that mural really the Silly Sock family?
Class: Of course. Yes.
Jacob: All I am saying is you like "The Silly Sock Show" now, but you might not even remember it in 20 years.
Raheem: But you told us that we're all going to be dead in 20 years from climate change.
Jacob: I said, "Unless we act now."
Clarence: We're in school now. How are we supposed to act?
Jacob: Look, w-we are not doing "The Silly Sock Show," okay? You came up with a bunch of other ideas. Pick one of those. Any of those.
Terrence: Mimimi.
Class: (Sadly) Mimimimimi.
Gregory: (Knock on door)
Janine: Hey, co-worker.
Gregory: Hey. So, I ran into Maurice earlier, and it's bothering me, what happened at the teachers' conference. I feel like I've been a bad friend to both of you.
Janine: There's no need to feel bad. Look, even without what, you know, happened, something still wasn't quite clicking with Maurice. I mean, if it was, then I wouldn't have... kissed you, right?
Gregory: Right.
Janine: I'm going to go to Bone Town with Mo, and then I'm going to break up with him.
Gregory: Wow. Okay, well, that feels like too much information and also kind of cruel.
Janine: I know, but I figured if I got to do this, I might as well be full of meat and covered in sauce. (Sighs)
Gregory: Oh, you mean the, um... The barbecue restaurant.
Janine: Yeah.
Gregory: Oh. Oh. Okay. Um, well, Maurice is still my friend, so I should be the one to tell him about the kiss, since you're going to break up with him, anyway.
Janine: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like... I was talking to Erika, and she said I really shouldn't get into details.
Gregory: Well, I still want to be cool with Mo. I don't want this weighing on my conscience.
Janine: Well, if he's going to find out, then I should be the one to tell him.
Gregory: You didn't want to tell him at all, and now you want to tell him first?
Janine: Because I didn't want to hurt him. Alright, look. I guess the only solution is for us to go to Bone Town, together, and we apologize to him. That's the only way.
Gregory: Fine. Together.
Janine: Okay.
Jacob: A-ha! Okay. Thank you so much for your patience. Uh, my students and I have come up with a new idea that will knock your socks off.
(Students groaning)
Ava: Did you get those paint samples that I sent you for my bedroom? I'm thinking sexy, but dangerous.
Gabe: Again, uh, we do not do private residences. We're a non-profit.
Ava: Who said I was gon' pay you?
Jacob: Our mural is a sycamore, with each root representing a different part of West Philly, coming together to form our sturdy community.
Gabe: Great. Let me gather my crew. We'll get right to work.
Ava: Why y'all so sad? Wait, is it Monday?
Tiffany: We wanted to paint "The Silly Sock Show,"
Jacob: Okay, um, when I said the kids and I came up with a new idea, I will admit I... I steered them in a certain direction.
Ava: Well, if it ain't the white man making decisions for everybody.
Gabe: So, that's not how this works. The goal of Mural Arts is to do it with the kids and have them be the drivers of the mural.
Jacob: Yeah, no, yeah. We were all driving. Well, they were in the car.
Terrence: Not by choice.
Ava: Dang, Jacob. I thought you thought you was one of the good ones.
Jacob: I am. I am.
Gabe: We can't, in good conscience, paint a mural the kids aren't fully behind. Unfortunately, since you and your students can't come up with an idea, we're out of time.
Jacob: No, no.
Gabe: We'll just come back next year.
Raheem: We won't be here next year!
Clarence: Yeah. Thanks a lot, Mr. Hill.
(Class complaining)
Ava: Well, looks like your schedule just cleared up. What do you think about mauve in a vestibule?
Video: Mimimimimi, Mimi.
Melissa: (Laughs)
Jacob: I don't get it. This stupid show means more to the kids than air.
Melissa: What, were you born without a funny bone?
Jacob: It's called a humerus. And yes.
Melissa: Why are you like this?
Jacob: Look, I loved "Ed, Edd n Eddy," but that was elevated. You know, there are entire subreddits dedicated to the subtext of that show.
Melissa: They're friends with a plank of wood with a face drawn on it. It's nostalgia. It's important. You can't take that from the kids.
Jacob: Yeah, I know, but I just think the mural should represent something more. Like Janine. She said every time she goes by the mural she made in elementary school, she is filled with a sense of pride.
Janine: Oh, no. No, no, no. I remember it because it was super embarrassing. It was Spongebob with a durag on, cape out and all. Yeah. Really wish we'd made some different choices. At least tuck it in.
Jacob: See? This is what I'm talking about. I want to respect what they like, but I also want their future selves to be proud of what they did.
Melissa: Yeah, well, guess what. That's teaching, buddy. You got to respect their now while preparing them for the future.
Janine: Mm-hmm.
Jacob: You're right.
Janine: You're welcome.
Jacob: Oh, but it's too late. The mural people left already.
Janine: Aww.
Melissa: You know what? You're pretty dang defeatist for someone who votes third-party. Come on. Let's go bully some sensitive artists.
Nicole: I need to see Principal Coleman.
Melissa: Well, if you want to serve her with a subpoena, good luck. She's got secret exits all over this place.
Ava: Nicole! How's Josh doing at Addington?
Nicole: I need to re-enroll Josh at Abbott. They kicked him out.
Barbara: No, they did not. For what?
Nicole: "We regret to inform you that Joshua Richardson no longer reaches the standards required for our educational nourishment"?
Melissa: That's just BS-speak for he brought down their test scores.
Barbara: They don't see students. They see scores.
Nicole: I've never seen him so upset. Is there room for him?
Ava: Are you kidding? He was the first one to call Jacob "Squidward." Consider Joshua re-enrolled.
Nicole: He's going to be so happy to be back at Abbott.
Ava: Legendary Charter... If anyone's going to take advantage of this school district, it's me. Now, you two need to get on board. Who do we need to fight first?
Barbara: Well, I am not sure about the journey there, but amen to the destination.
Melissa: Welcome to the team.
Maurice: I'll take the ribs. Thank you. What's up, Janine? And Gregory? You a Bone Bro, too?
Gregory: Hey, Maurice. We were hoping that we could talk.
Janine: Yeah.
Maurice: Why so macabre, bro? We got jalapeño poppers on deck.
Gregory: Look, you know how much I value our friendship.
Maurice: I don't think I've ever heard you say that, but sure.
Janine: And you know how much I value our, uh...
Maurice: Situationship.
Janine: Yes.
Gregory: And you're really a... A great guy. It's...
Janine: We got drunk and kisses at the confrontation conference.
Gregory: We kissed at the teachers' conference, but it meant nothing.
Janine: Yeah. It meant nothing. Like, yeah, less than nothing, right? You know, like, what... What... what would you say would be something that's less than nothing?
Gregory: Negative nothing.
Janine: Yep. That. We are so, so sorry.
Gregory: Very sorry.
Maurice: Hey, it's fine, man. Things happen. You know, I would tell you about the last holiday party we had at the UPS, but I don't
remember it. I woke up in a box on a porch. You know, thankfully, my co-workers used packing peanuts, so it went smooth.
Janine: Well, you know, we never meant to hurt you.
Maurice: Nah, we're good. It's all water under Adele's bridge.
Gregory: You're taking this very well.
Maurice: Yeah, I'm a chill guy. I mean, if you say it meant nothing, there's no reason that we can't continue to date. We're good.
Janine: I was thinking that maybe we aren't the best fit for each other.
Maurice: Wait, wait, wait. You just wanted to break up with me in front of Gregory?
Janine: That is what it looks like, but no. That was not our intention.
Maurice: Oh, y'all are sick. Look, man, you can have my baby, but not my baby backs.
Gregory: Huh?
Maurice: I'm staying. Please leave.
Janine: That's fair. And I did enjoy our time...
Maurice: Can I get some more ranch?
Jacob: Okay, thank you all for coming. I just want to give a special shout-out to Mural Arts. Thank you for coming back and helping us with this very important work on such late notice.
Gabe: Well, one of your teachers made a strong argument that we return.
Jacob: I sat down with my class, and after a lengthy discussion, they arrived at an idea that they really believe in. So, without further ado...
Mr. Johnson: Let's go!
(All cheering)
Barbara: Well, I guess this Silly Sock brigade is this generation's "Rug Vermin."
Janine: "Rugrats," and, um, wow. This is gonna be here forever.
Gregory: I have never been happier to be on the first floor.
Janine: I know. (Laughs)
Melissa: So, I guess you just totally gave in, huh?
Jacob: Actually, if you take a closer look at the socks' social fabric...
Melissa: Yeah, move.
Jacob: It is a mosaic, and each of the kids got their own tile.
Melissa: Oh. Whose is this one?
Raheem: This is me as a doctor, which is what I want to be when I grow up.
Melissa: Aww.
Tiffany: And this is me as the first Black female president astronaut.
Barbara: Ah.
Clarence: This is me in my favorite class... Mr. C's class. I'm gonna be a teacher.
Terrence: Wait. So you're trying to grow up to be broke?
(Laughter)
Jacob: Hey, Josh. Um, I know you weren't here to help paint the mural, but I think we've got some space for you over there.
Joshua: Thank you, Mr. C.
Melissa: Nice job, man. I'm impressed.
Ava: I was looking for a new paint color for my bathroom downstairs.
Jacob: Wait, your bathroom where?
Ava: Shut up, Janine.
Jacob: I'm Jacob.
Janine: That's true. My favorite day of the week is Wednesday.
Melissa: I didn't know that.
Janine: Yeah.
Gregory: What are y'all doing?
Barbara: Oh, we're taking a personality quiz to see which Silly Sock we are.
Gregory: Mm.
Melissa: Except me. I'm not giving info to some bankrupt hippie data farm.
Jacob: Too late. I already did it for you. What can I say? I'm a stereotypical Nene Sock. You are Miss Ing Sock.
Janine: Mm-hmm.
Melissa: I knew it.
Barbara: And I am the glamorous, yet substantive Toeprah. You want to get in on this, Gregory?
Gregory: Yeah, I'm gonna pass.
Janine: I took it for you.
Gregory: I don't really care what kind of sock I am.
Janine: You are a Toeseph.
Gregory: That's ridiculous! I'm a textbook Toesha.
Barbara: (Laughs)
Janine: Toeseph says exactly that in episode 86.
(All laugh except Gregory)
That's so Toeseph.
