Gregory: Thank you, sir. Sounds like quite the opportunity. I'll deliberate on the objective and report back. Okay. Okay, bye.
Mr. Johnson: Boy, you in the FBI?
Gregory: What? No, I was just talking to my dad.
Mr. Johnson: That's the way you talk to your dad?
Gregory: Yes. Uh, he was asking me to come up to Baltimore to work at his landscaping company, but just for the summer.
Mr. Johnson: A likely story. Probably planning on how to assassinate another Black community leader. COINTELPRO killed Teena Marie.
Gregory: Teena Marie was white.
Mr. Johnson: To you.
Gregory: How would I even get into the FBI?
Mr. Johnson: The same way you got into the notoriously hard-to-break-into landscaping industry... nepotism.
Gregory: You want to work in landscaping?
Mr. Johnson: Of course. I love nature. I'm a master forager. My specialty... mushrooms.
Gregory: I don't know how to leave this conversation.
Mr. Johnson: Eddie Lawn and Care doesn't even roll off the tongue.
Mr. Johnson and Eddie Landscaping on the other hand? Now, that's a company you can trust.
Gregory: Okay, well, if I don't take the gig, I'll be sure to put in a good word for you.
Janine: Oh, see you, Gregory. Goodbye, Mr. Johnson. You know what? I'm just realizing I don't know your first name.
Mr. Johnson: When you get home tonight, look up in the sky. It's written in the stars.
Gregory: He on one today.
Janine: Okay.
(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)
♪♪
Janine: So what does a Gregory pack for an overnight trip to the Franklin Institute?
Gregory: We have a durag.
Janine: Uh-huh.
Gregory: All 13 essential vitamins.
Janine: Of course.
Gregory: And night socks.
Janine: Night socks?
Gregory: Yeah. For after I take off my day socks.
(Both chuckle)
Janine: (to camera) Today's the big field trip to the Franklin Institute, which is my favorite museum of science and technology.
Gregory: (to camera) And it's a sleepover.
Janine: (to camera) Yes, our first sleepover. Because neither of us has ever done a sleepover before.
Gregory: (to camera) With teachers.
Janine: (to camera) And the kids.
Gregory: (to camera) Everyone.
Janine: (to camera) Everyone's going to be there.
Gregory: (to camera) There's going to be a lot of people there.
Janine: (to camera) Yeah. Yeah.
Gregory: (to camera) Yeah.
Janine: Man, I'm happy Ava paired us up as group buddies.
Gregory: Now, don't ever leave us behind. I need you to have my back in case someone casts an ancient spell and the exhibits come to life. I'm counting on those tiny fists for very precise blows.
Janine: Wait. So you did watch "Night at the Museum"?
Gregory: Yeah. I take all your recommendations seriously. I want to know why you like stuff.
(Clank)
Ava: Uh-uh. I don't like clanks in bags. Clank-clank lead to the clink-clink.
Melissa: Meet Edith Houghton... Named after the MLB's first female scout for none other than the Phillies. Can't sleep a wink without her.
(Bat clanks)
Dang, Barb. Did you pack Gerald in there?
Ava: We worked too hard on this fundraiser to get kicked out because you want to get freaky in Sir Isaac's Loft.
Barbara: I have an extensive nighttime regimen that will not be abandoned because of an overnight youth excursion.
Melissa: Explaining why she hasn't aged since before the Internet.
Ava: I know. What you got in there?
Barbara: Did I hear the bell?
Ava: No.
(Bell rings)
Barbara: Ha! Lucky us. Two-bell day. Huh.
Boy: Are we there yet?
Janine: Uh, well, the buses aren't even here yet, so, no. Okay. Oh. Hey, Maurice.
Maurice: Hey, Janine.
Janine: Hey, Maurice. Sorry for the surprise appearance. We're just about to go on a field trip.
Maurice: I did walk this way assuming you'd be inside.
Janine: Yeah. I'm in there a lot. (Laughs) Oh. Look, I really wanted to apologize for how things went down at Bone Town.
Maurice: You ever notice how people say they want to apologize instead of just apologizing? It's wild.
Janine: Well, I'm sorry.
Maurice: It's all good. Gregory told me not to pursue you, and I did anyway, so I guess we're both in our selfish eras.
Janine: Wait. I'm not selfish.
Maurice: You are.
Janine: I'm not.
Brian's Mom: Oh, hey, Mr. Eddie, just a heads-up that this one is a tricky sleeper. He'll lay down, but that is not the end of it. You got to watch him. He'll pretend to be asleep, but he's not asleep. He is not asleep! Are you listening?
Gregory: Huh?
Maurice: Wait, wait, wait. So, for clarity, you don't think you were being selfish?
Janine: No.
Maurice: Oh, so it's normal for you to invite a guy to his favorite barbecue restaurant just to break up with him in front of his friend who you kissed but didn't actually date?
Janine: I didn't think of it that way.
Maurice: Yeah. It stung a little bit, but it's all good. I, too, become selfish sometimes. For example, I'm ghosting this girl right now. You know, she thinks I'm dead, but this convo, it inspired me to reach out to her, send her a text. I wouldn't want to hurt her.
Janine: (to camera) I felt like I was making a lot of progress this year, but to find out that I hurt someone who didn't deserve it, without knowing, because I'm selfish... I never want to do that again.
Janine: Come on in. Go ahead. Okay, guys.
Gregory: Here we go.
Janine: Thanks.
Gregory: Ariana, you're falling behind. Come on. You got to keep up.
Ariana: Mr. Eddie, my shoulders don't work anymore.
Gregory: Oh, no. Okay, you want me to hold your backpack for a little bit? Okay. There we go. Well, good thing I took all those vitamins, right? (Chuckles)
Janine: All right, guys. Let's go see another exhibit. Come on. There's a bunch of stuff here, not just Ben Franklin. Come on.
Docent: Don't be shy if you have questions. Rail transportation transformed America, and it could happen again today if we invest in
high-speed rail.
Jacob: Amen, sister.
Docent: Yeah, if we harness today's technology, trains could get to Washington, D. C., in just half an hour.
Melissa: And, more importantly, it could get out of Washington, D.C. And back to Philadelphia in 30 minutes, which is 29 minutes longer than the ideal scenario.
Docent: (Laughs) Well, I don't know that I would be in such a rush to leave our nation's capital.
Melissa: Yeah, you're forgetting that Philadelphia was the capital first.
Student: Really?
Jacob: Yes. Okay, yes. She... You know that. She knew that.
Docent: As did I. Yeah. This is a museum, but let's not live in the past.
Melissa: Where are you from?
Docent: Uh, Westchester...
Melissa: New York. Yeah. Unbelievable. So youse people move here, you don't learn the history, and then you got the nerve to work at a museum. (scoffs)
Docent: Well, I'm a volunteer.
Melissa: And you are worth every penny they're paying you, sweetheart. Okay. Let's see Miss Schemmenti's neighborhood.
(Indistinct chatter, electricity buzzing)
Malika: "The unbounded emptiness of space is incomprehensible to the human mind."
Ava: Hmm. I don't know why they're wasting time telling you about what isn't out there. You need to be worried about what is.
Malika: What are you saying?
Ava: There are at least 100 billion galaxies. Do you think that Earth is the only place hospitable to life in 100 billion galaxies?
Malika: Are you saying aliens are real?
Ava: Of course they're real. What I'm saying is, they might already be here.
Barbara: Ava, you're frightening the children.
Ava: I just want them to be prepared. More than 80% of the ocean has never been explored by humans. Aliens might already be here, drinking mai tais and using the Indian Ocean as a lazy river.
(Heart beating) (Grunting)
Janine: Oh, hi.
Ariana: Mr. Eddie taught me a train song. Chugga chugga, chugga chugga, chugga chugga, ♪ free hugs! ♪
Janine: Oh!
Gregory: Hey. So you seem completely unaffected by the cutest thing I've ever taught a child. Are you good?
Janine: Yeah, I'm fine.
Gregory: So I talked to my dad earlier. He wants me to come up to Baltimore for the summer.
Janine: Mm.
Gregory: It's only an hour away...
Janine: Mm. Mm.
Gregory: By train. But I was thinking that maybe I'd stay in Philly for the summer. You know, if you had any thoughts...
Janine: Oh, wow. Uh... well, do you want to go?
Gregory: Maybe. But I thought maybe we could hang out some for the summer. I know there's two or three more "Night at the Museums" we could watch.
Janine: You've seen one, you've seen them all, you know. Look, staying here could be cool, but going to Baltimore sounds great. See family, you know? You should do whatever you want, what... whatever you want to do. Hey, Jalen, let someone else have a turn on the train. Oh, God.
Melissa: I'm tired, too.
Janine: Let's go. Lie down.
Melissa: Here you go. Help me. Grab the bottom end.
Barbara: Oh. Excuse me. Are there any private quarters?
Docent: Uh, we've got kids by the train and in the map room.
Ooh, the one place that's empty is the galaxy room, although it can feel kind of creepy in there at night.
Barbara: That's perfect. Thank you.
Melissa: Hey, Barb. Don't listen to this clown. She's not even from Philly.
Docent: Does that preclude me from knowing the layout of the museum?
Melissa: Probably. What's the matter? You don't want to sleep in here with us?
Barbara: I do, but I need space to calm my kids down. My class and half the school is traumatized after hearing Ava Night Shyamalan.
Melissa: That's the name she remembers?
Jacob: Ooh, can't believe I snagged a spot next to your group. Hey, do you remember what to do if I start having sleep paralysis?
Gregory: Um, shake you till you wake up?
Jacob: What? No, no. Gently cradle my head...
Gregory: Can we talk? Hey, has Janine been acting different?
Jacob: Uh, honestly, I haven't seen her that much today. Ava paired me with Morton, so all of my energy has gone into keeping my cool. He better watch it. You know, Night Jacob, he's got that dog in him.
Gregory: Can we get back to Janine?
Jacob: Yes. Um, what did... what did she say when you asked her what's wrong?
Gregory: Uh...
Jacob: You didn't ask her? Sheesh. It is no wonder your dad is a landscaper, the way you beat around the bush.
Gregory: All right, calm down.
Jacob: You know, sometimes I think you two should just, like, kiss and get it over with. You need to be better about hiding things with your face.
Gregory: Sorry.
Jacob: Deet me.
Gregory: It was PECSA weekend.
Jacob: Frickin' classic.
Gregory: We got a little tipsy in the living classroom. We just got lost in the moment.
Jacob: She and I drove home together. She did not say a word... Treachery of the highest order.
Gregory: Don't be mad at Janine... After we kissed, we said we weren't going to talk about it.
Jacob: Okay, well, you have to know that that is a very strange way to handle that.
Gregory: Maybe.
Jacob: You two have done everything but tell each other how you feel. You... you have to tell her how you feel.
Gregory: There's no real going back after that, is there?
Jacob: Nope. But there might be a lot of good stuff on the other side.
Gregory: Bro hug?
Jacob: Yeah.
Malika: Hey. I made an alien drawing for you. What do you think?
Ava: Now, see, this is where they get you. What if they're humanoids that look just like us? The only difference might be, they're not used to our atmosphere.
Malika: So their only giveaway would be a breathing apparatus?
Ava: Exactly.
Ava: So I don't get a thank-you for putting you next to your little boyfriend?
Janine: What are you talking about?
Ava: I made you class buddies with Gregory. You can thank me after you have your really short, broad-shouldered babies. That man built like the Longhorn logo.
Janine: Hey, he is not my boyfriend. Ava, has anyone ever called you selfish?
Ava: All the time. My grandma called me selfish this morning.
Janine: Right.
Ava: But I don't care. I take care of myself. And I see you doing it, too. Going on your little vacation. (Giggles) Stealing money from your mama.
Janine: That's not what happened.
Ava: Whatever. But it looks good on you. As long as you're not hurting anybody, what's the problem?
Gregory: Hey. Uh, once the kids go to sleep, you think we could talk?
Janine: Um... You know what? I think if d be better if I was over by, you know, Barbara's class, because she has this white-noise machine that I was really trying to use. I might get one of those. So, um, everybody in my class, up. Let's go, let's go. We're going to go over to sleep next to Mrs. Howard. Grab your things.
Janine: Ah. Hey, Barbara. We're just going to scooch in next to y'all.
Barbara: Scooching is an act best done silently. Good night.
Janine: All right. Scooch in, you guys. Shh, quietly.
(White-noise machine hissing)
Hmm. Not what I thought a white-noise machine would sound like. (Whispering) All right, guys, quietly. Lay down.
Jacob: So how'd it go?
Gregory: Great. He hasn't moved in, like, 15 minutes. It's kind of creepy, actually.
Jacob: No, no. I'm talking about Janine.
Gregory: Oh. Well, I asked if we could talk and she moved her kids to the other room, so that's that, I guess.
Jacob: Oh, yeah. That's that. Yeah, you'll probably never see her again.
Gregory: Relax.
Jacob: I'm relaxed, man. You relax, okay? Everybody I like knows it. Zach and Diego Luna have seen my tweets, so...
Gregory: Hey.
Janine: Hi.
Gregory: (Sighs) So this morning you seemed really excited to have our classes paired together. And then you talked to Maurice, and now things feel different.
Janine: Yeah. That wasn't about you.
Gregory: Well, it sure seemed like it was.
Janine: Okay, look, Gregory, don't worry about it. Just forget it.
Gregory: But I don't want to forget it.
Janine: (Sighs) Why not?
Gregory: Because I like you, Janine. I have feelings for you, and...
(Children grunting)
Student: Watch it!
(CPAP machine hissing)
Brian: Alien!
(Children screaming)
(Children screaming)
Ava: Where is it?
Melissa: Let's do this.
Ava: Did y'all see the alien?
Melissa: Yeah, we just want to talk.
Gregory: Barbara is the alien.
Ava: Melissa, I would never ask you to take Barbara out. Jacob, take the bat.
Barbara: Everybody, please calm down. This whole hubbub started because the kids saw this.
Ava: Barb! You already killed the alien by ripping off his mask? She's a hero, y'all!
Barbara: This is my CPAP machine.
(to camera) I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea, so I use a CPAP machine. I'm obviously very particular about how I present myself, so I tried to hide it.
I was wearing this. And because of Ava's antics, the kids thought that I was an alien.
Ava: So it was just a misunderstanding. (Laughs) What a relief! And no one to blame, at that. Y'all go ahead, round up the kids so I can go to sleep. If I don't get a smooth 11 hours, I get a little handsy. (Chuckles)
Janine: (Scoffs)
Melissa: You okay?
Barbara: Fine. Okay, a little embarrassed.
Melissa: Ah, don't be embarrassed. You're aging with dignity. Meanwhile, I got to pack an extra pair of underwear if I plan on laughing that day. (snorts) Come on. Come on.
Barbara: You know...
Melissa: Let's get the kids.
(Children yelling) (Heart beating)
Janine: Hey.
Gregory: No kids in this ventricle.
Janine: None in this atrium, so...
Janine: I like you, too... like, a lot.
Gregory: I kind of knew that.
Janine: Whatever. So for how long did you like me? Like, how long?
Gregory: Pretty much since the first day I got to Abbott.
Janine: Really?
Gregory: Mm-hmm.
Janine: Me too.
(Both scoff)
But I couldn't really admit it, because...
Gregory: Tariq. Yeah.
Janine: Right. So, if you liked me for that long, then what was the whole Taylor thing?
Gregory: You were in a multi-presidential-term relationship when...
Janine: Okay. But then I wasn't.
Gregory: Are we really about to do this?
Janine: And then Amber.
Gregory: Hey, she asked me out. And you was giving me nothing.
Janine: Kissing you was giving you nothing?
Gregory: You called it a whoops.
Janine: You could have said it wasn't a whoops.
Gregory: Look, I didn't think it was an accident or a mistake. Besides, you started dating Maurice. We were both all over the place. But we' re here... Now.
Janine: (Sighs) Look, talking to Mo, it did change things. But it didn't change how I feel about you. It changed how I feel about me.
Gregory: What are you saying?
Janine: Gregory, I come to school every day happy because I get to see you and have a friend like you, and I cannot lose that friend. But maybe I am selfish. And if I need to be right now, then I don't want to wind up hurting you. It's you. And if we did this, then it would be...
Gregory: Something real.
Janine: Yeah.
Gregory: I understand. We should get back.
Janine: Yeah.
Gregory: I'm still here, buddy.
Jacob: Hey, how'd it go? Bro hug?
Barbara: All right. Now, it's me. Still me. Besides, would an alien sound like... (Vocalizes)
Girl: Absolutely.
Barbara: Go to sleep.
Girl: Ms. Schemmenti?
Melissa: Yeah, hon?
Girl: Thanks for telling me about Guion Bluford. I'm going to be an astronaut, too.
Melissa: Yeah? Maybe you'll be the first person to eat a hoagie in space.
Docent: (Clears throat) I hate to admit it, but I actually learned some stuff from you. I didn't know that America's first hospital was in Philly.
Melissa: Mm-hmm.
Docent: I guess I should step up some of my local knowledge. Have you ever thought about volunteering?
Melissa: Work for free? (Laughs) Yeah, you're really not from Philly, are you, hon?
Janine: (Sighs) Got all yours?
Gregory: Yeah.
Janine: Okay.
(to camera) I think I did the right thing. I want to continue the path I'm on. I actually think selfish is good for me, for now. And Gregory is great. He's the greatest, actually. I guess I'm not ready for him, but that's okay. I'm okay.
Gregory: (to camera) I'm okay. Really. I'm happy I put it out there, even if it didn't go how I wanted. And, uh, Jacob was right. (Chuckles) There's some good stuff on the other side. (Sighs) It's time to plant something new. (Chuckles)
Janine: Hey. You want to grab something to eat?
Gregory: Maybe. Is Jacob coming?
Janine: He is.
Jacob: G-Man. Don't worry. Every spot on my spreadsheet of local restaurants has something you love... water.
Gregory: (Laughs) Ah, yeah, let's go.
Jacob: After-school crew is back, baby!
Janine: That... All right.
Mr. Johnson: Ava, I'm cashing in my time off for the rest of the year to go work with Gregory's dad at the landscaping company in Baltimore.
Ava: There's six more weeks of school left, and you don't have any days banked. You go fishing every other week.
Mr. Johnson: That's because I'm single-handedly trying to control the snakehead fish population.
Ava: I'll see you at work tomorrow.
Mr. Johnson: No offense to your little job here, but I got to do me.
Ava: Wait, what? Hey! Hey, come back here! Oh, now you can walk fast.
(Door closes)
