Janine: Hey.
Gregory: Hey.
Melissa: Ugh! Disgusting.
Janine: Alright. Wow, we're just not biting our tongues anymore? This is vintage.
Melissa: Okay, no. There's a green bubble on the group chat.
Gregory: I have an iPhone, but I left the group chat after Mr. Johnson started that soup thread.
Jacob: Uh, it's me, okay? I-I got a new phone. A droid.
Janine: Wait, there's a group chat?
Jacob: Look, it's not easy being green, okay? Android discrimination is one of the last acceptable forms of hate in this country. There was a pothole on 50th Street. I tried to warn you about it.
Melissa: Yeah, well, I hit it because I couldn't read your stupid text. I just don't have time for this. Go back to the blue bubble! Life is hard enough as it is. Now I got two classes worth of grades to finish and a tire to replace.
Jacob: You know what? I would like to see your phone survive that.
Janine: Let me in the group chat.
Jacob: No.
Gregory: I tried, but they say you "ha ha" every text...
Janine: That's not fair, and that's not true.
Ava: Breaking news, y'all.
Janine: You let another camera crew onto school property? Seriously?
Producer: We're from Channel Six.
Camera Man: Rolling.
Ava: Action news. The Chief Education Officer for the Philadelphia Board of Education is here, Elizabeth Washington, with a special announcement.
Elizabeth: (Chuckles) Every year, the Philadelphia school district shines a light on an educator that represents what it means to be an exceptional educator. And this year, the award goes to... Gregory Eddie.
Janine: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Gregory: This Gregory Eddie? Me?
Ava: Yeah, you, with your fine, silly ass.
Janine: Ah!
(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)
♪♪
Producer: Could we get some B-roll ahead of the interview with our Mr. Eddie?
Ava: Of course. We have everything you need for a motivational yet emotional package. Sad kids, mad kids, happy kids, new kids. Ignore that kid.
Elizabeth: I didn't like that.
Janine: Oh!
Barbara: Congratulations, Gregory.
Gregory: Thanks, I guess. This is weird, right? How can I be Educator of the Year if I haven't even been a full-time teacher for the whole year?
Barbara: Well, typically, the award has been about optics. And by awarding you, it might encourage other young Black men to become elementary school teachers. Besides, it makes them look good.
Ava: It's not merit-based at all, but who wants to live in a meritocracy? (Laughs)
Gregory: (to camera) I don't get it. I'm also very uncomfortable with the extra attention. I'm uncomfortable in general, but...
Janine: Alright. You guys are killing it, truly. So, what is the capital of Alaska? Tasia.
Tasia: Juneau.
Janine: That's right... Juneau, which is also a very funny movie. (Chuckles) Alright, let's move on to the Aloha state.
(Students gasp)
Deshaun: Ohh, I hate geography.
Janine: Deshaun, please.
Deshaun: Shut up!
Students: Ooh!
Janine: (to camera) That's Deshaun. Deshaun's been having difficulties all year, but lately, it's been getting worse. I tried talking to him, incentivizing him with rewards, but nothing's really worked. Yet. So, I'm gonna be using my not-so-secret secret weapon, a parent meeting. (Sighs)
Gregory: Come on. Enjoy your recess. And please don't eat any dirt. I just added new fertilizer. (Sighs) Oh, I'm just going to the bathroom. You don't need to follow me.
Elizabeth: Good. Yeah.
Ava: Barbara, this came for you.
Barbara: I have to go to court?
Ava: Oh, wait. This is a cease-and-desist for me. Coleman Camping Supplies seems to think that they're the only Colemans that can sell camping supplies. I got lanterns, too. You didn't complete your continuing education requirements.
Barbara: (to camera) Every five years, every schoolteacher must take continuing education classes, as mandated by the school district, which means that after all these years, I must prove to them that I can still teach. It is preposterous.
I'm sure I completed them all.
Ava: Well, the school district says otherwise, 'cause you're one course short. You'll have to complete it, or you will lose your teaching license and you'll be out on the streets. Why can't you be more like Gregory? Have more educator-of-the-year energy.
Janine: Hey, Ava? Sorry. I have something pressing. Can I get your permission to move up a parent-teacher meeting from next week to today? I'm having...
Ava: Sounds lovely. I have an announcement to make. Go bananas.
Janine: Okay.
Gregory: Alright. Now, remember to keep sounding out those vocab words, and you did really good that last quiz, okay?
News Team Worker (Brayden): And cut! That was beautiful.
Elizabeth: Actually, Brayden, I'll give the notes. So, can we just try another one where you give him a high five?
Gregory: I didn't do that for the cameras.
Elizabeth: Oh, I know that's clear. (Laughs) But this one's gonna be delightful.
News Team Worker (Brayden): Delightful.
Gregory: You can sit down, man. Um, do you guys think you have enough? Like, are we done here?
(Sighs deeply)
Elizabeth: You're not what I would call a natural, but yeah. So, I think we are done filming, guys.
Gregory: Great. Awesome. You can head out. Right this way. So... Oh, my bad. You're the doc crew. You're the one with the bird tattoo, not the snake. You can stay. But y'all can dip like guacamole. Come on, now. There it is. Okay. The door is right down this hallway. I'm gonna...
Elizabeth: Okay. And we'll see you at the ceremony.
Gregory: Ceremony? What?
Elizabeth: Well, there's a ceremony, of course. There's food, drinks, spoken-word poem, children's choir...
Gregory: From Abbott?
Elizabeth: Oh, God, I hope not. Oh, bonus... We have one of your fellow teachers who's gonna present the award to you herself.
Gregory: Mm. Who are you talking about?
Elizabeth: Ms. Schemmenti to deliver, uh, a speech about your outsized accomplishments, which I'm sure...
Gregory: Um, could we get another teacher to do it? Like, literally anybody else? Or maybe I could even present it to myself.
(Intercom beeps)
Ava: Attention, Abbott! After school in the gym...
Elizabeth: Oh. Shh!
Ava: We'll be having the Educator of the Year ceremony for the slim, the sensual, the strange Gregory Eddie. He'll receive said award from everyone's favorite neighborhood Italian, Melissa Schemmenti. Gaba gootz! Ladies free before 3:00 p.m. Sponsored by Bone Town. Oww, oww!
Melissa: What the hell's going on?
Gregory: Melissa, I'm sorry. I had no idea.
Melissa: Okay, why me?
Elizabeth: So, we like to have a diverse, kaleidoscopic POV to bridge the gap between culture and education.
Ava: What this white lady is saying is they want a white lady to do it because y'all been acting up this year.
Elizabeth: Yes! Thank you so much. That's right.
Ava: Trust me, you don't want to get on the district's bad side.
Melissa's Students: Ms. Schemmenti! Ms. Schemmenti! Ms. Schemmenti! Ms. Schemmenti! Ms. Schemmenti! Ms. Schemmenti!
Janine: Hey, Mr. Educator of the Yeeeear!
Gregory: (Chuckles) Don't do that.
Janine: (Chuckles)
Gregory: Uh, how's it going with Deshaun today?
Janine: Oh, it's... it's going. Yeah, let's just say I'm happy I'm talking to his mom today. So, you ready to get the keys to the city yet.
Melissa: I hate to break up this little love-fest, but I don't have much time.
Janine: What love?
Gregory: There's no love here.
Melissa: Gregory, intro!
Janine: Bye.
Melissa: So, apparently, I'm supposed to say some nice things about you, so why don't you just tell me some of the things you think you accomplished over the year, and I'll whip it up into an intro? Okay, have a seat.
Gregory: Alright. Uh, okay. I feel like we've made progress on identifying shapes, although a lot of them got hexagons and polygons confused. And then one of them thought a polygon was the Pentagon, and...
Melissa: Okay, just give me something, anything you thought you were good at... go.
Gregory: I-I don't... I don't really know. I feel like I'm below average at teaching language arts, which, like, what does that say about me?
Melissa: How about I say you are punctual? And all the kids love you.
Gregory: To be completely honest, I don't know that they do. But some of them like me.
Melissa: (Breathes sharply) How about this? I'm just gonna do, like, a regift speech. I'll just repurpose some of the compliments I've gotten over the years. Okay?
(School bell rings)
(Indistinct conversations in distance)
Barbara: Jacob, I'm going to ask you something, and I only want a "yes" or a "no" response. Can you help me...
Jacob: Oh, my God! Lord, build me a fence. Yes. What is it?
Barbara: Calm down. I need help signing into a continuing education class.
Jacob: Okay, well, let's take a look-see. Looks like a lot of goofy acronyms so far.
Barbara: Mm. A complete waste of time.
Jacob: NAP... Nodding and Praising.
Barbara: I only praise the Lord.
Jacob: MUD... Meeting Under Duress.
Barbara: Mm, I came up out of the mud.
Jacob: FART... Facilitating A Reading Tyke.
Barbara: Seems like they wanted to do that. And look, most of the seats are taken.
Jacob: Uh, okay, got one. (Key clacks) Boom! IGAL... Intergenerational Active Listening.
Barbara: What'd you say?
Jacob: IGAL for My Gal. Put it in your cal, pal.
(Keys clacking)
Ashley: Oh! Yurrr! There he is, Educator of the Year!
Gregory: Ashley. What are you doing here? I thought you were at another school now.
Ashley: I was. (Chuckles) And then another one after that, and then another one after that. And then they gave me Teacher's Aide of the Year! Look at us. Two young guns, killing awards season. Pew pew! (Blows)
(Indistinct conversations in distance)
Choir: ♪ La La La La La La La ♪
Gregory: This feels like a bit much.
Choir: ♪ La La La La La La La ♪
Gregory: That was my first school ID. I forgot to smile.
Choir: ♪ La La La La La La La ♪
Ava: Your award put the spotlight on Abbott, so we have to make the most of it before the news moves on to a cannibal celebrity or some new Frisbee dog champion. Now, get onstage and tell me if these lasers blind you.
Melissa: Hey, Pink Floyd, since you gave me nothing to work with for your intro... I thought maybe I'd just go with the quickest dinner grace I know, but I thank you instead of Jesus.
Gregory: Uh, Melissa.
Melissa: What's up?
Gregory: How do you feel about all this?
Melissa: Yeah, you know, it's all bit showy and goofy, but I do like that giant gift certificate to Bone Town. I like that sort of thing. You know, food.
Isaac: The wind beneath our...
Students: Wings!
Isaac: Gregory Eddie, a Black man with a plan. Ain't that fly? Some may go low, but he won't go get...
Students: High!
Isaac: Er learning with a hue and sense of humor. Take him down? Nah, son. His name ain't Nas, but he's...
Students: God's son!
Choir: ♪ Did you ever knowwww that you're my herrrrrooooooooooo? ♪
Janine: (Sighs) Oh, hi. Ms. O'Neill, please come in.
Cassandra: Cassandra.
Janine: Alright. Nice to meet you, Ms. Cassandra.
Cassandra: Just Cassandra works fine.
Janine: Alright. Please have a seat.
(Door closes)
First of all, thank you so much for coming in. I know it's difficult to do in the middle of a work day.
Cassandra: Oh, it's fine. I just had someone pick up the rest of my shift on short notice, but I'm here.
Janine: I respect that, so I'll get right into it. So, you know, I've been dealing with some issues with your son Deshaun since the beginning of the year, minor issues, and I've been managing them, but as the year has gone on, it's just gotten progressively worse.
Cassandra: Worse? How?
Janine: Well, it started off with, like, small things, like him calling out the answers without raising his hand. But, you know, now it's started to escalate to him throwing books and...
Cassandra: The right answers or the wrong answers?
Janine: Well, right or wrong, it's just disruptive to the other students.
Cassandra: Mm-hmm, I see.
Janine: And look, I know we both want what's best for Deshaun.
Cassandra: So what do you want from me?
Janine: (Chuckles) Well, I thought...
Cassandra: Thought what, exactly?
Janine: This wasn't my first option, by the way. As I've said, his behavior has been getting progressively worse, and I've been trying to make sure he's having a successful time at school.
Cassandra: And nobody's stopping you from doing that.
Janine: He's kind of stopping me, actually.
Cassandra: He's 7. You can't control a 7-year-old?
Janine: Cassandra, it's not about control. You know, we're setting him up to be the best student he can be, and you know, we're a team in this.
Cassandra: We're not a team. And I don't see how he could be the best student that he could be with a teacher like you.
Janine: Um, excuse me?
(Cellphone vibrates)
Cassandra: (Sighs) And now my boss is calling. I took time out of my day, away from my job, to come down here to hear you complain about my son, and you're not even doing your job.
Janine: I'm doing the best I can with your son.
Cassandra: If this is the best that you can do, you are the worst teacher that I've ever seen. You know, and you're right. Call me Ms. O'Neill. Down here wasting my damn time.
Gregory: Janine?
Janine: Ah.
Gregory: What's wrong?
Janine: (Sniffles) Um, Deshaun's mom, uh... she called me a bad teacher, and it was just... (Claps hands) I don't even know why I'm crying right now.
Gregory: Look, look. She doesn't know what she's talking about, okay? You're a good teacher, Janine.
Janine: (Crying, sniffling)
Gregory: Janine?
Barbara: Who am I going to have an intergenerational conversation with? Oh. What happened?
Gregory: A parent yelled at her. I'm trying to help, but I think I'm making it worse.
Janine: It's okay.
(Intercom beeps)
Ava: Paging Educator of the Year, Mr. Eddie. Your ass is needed at the award presentation, so bring that and put them to the gym.
Barbara: Gregory, you go on ahead, I can handle this.
Gregory: If you need me, I'll be in my classroom.
Janine: Okay.
Barbara: Come on.
Janine: Thank you.
Barbara: Mm-hmm.
Janine: Uh, so (Breathes deeply) she comes in, and I told her about her son's acting out... you know... I'm trying to have a conversation, cool, calmed, where we figure out what to do... I offered solutions, I was patient, I told her we are a team, and... (Voice breaks) she just destroyed me. She called me the worst teacher she's ever seen.
Barbara: Janine, do you believe you're the worst teacher?
Janine: I don't know. I've done everything I can for Deshaun, and it's not enough, so maybe.
Barbara: So, what you're gonna do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, come back here tomorrow, and do your job.
Janine: But I didn't solve the problem. I am failing him.
Barbara: I have been called a bad teacher more times than I can ever remember.
Janine: (Sniffles)
Barbara: People have thrown dirt on my name. Others have given flowers.
Janine: (Sighs)
Barbara: But it's all a garden to me.
Janine: Barbara, I've never seen you fail a child. You always find a solution.
Barbara: Oh, please. I do not always have the answer. In fact, there are some issues and problems that are just too difficult for anyone, even me, to solve in one school year. But if you come back here tomorrow ready to do your job, having not given up on yourself or that student, well, that is not failure. Sometimes, that's what success looks like. So, how long do you think that conversation was? You know, let's just round it up to 15 minutes. Now, I am going to need you to initial and sign my IGAL worksheet.
Janine: Oh, okay.
Barbara: Yeah. See? There you go.
Janine: (Sniffles)
Barbara: Oh, and if you see any more weeping millennials roaming the hallway, please send them my way.
Janine: Okay. Um, thank you so much.
Barbara: Thank you, baby.
Melissa: Hey! What are you doing in here, Mr. Educator of the Year? The ceremony's out this way.
Gregory: Look, I don't think I can go up there and accept this award.
Melissa: What? They set up the whole gym for you. I wrote you this great speech. Well, I landed on a Jalen Hurts tribute post that I repurposed, but still.
Gregory: Honestly, I feel ridiculous. Like, I don't deserve this award.
Melissa: (Scoffs)
Gregory: With everything that Barbara does for the school, and you teaching two grades, and... and... And Janine getting yelled at by a parent, I feel like I'm the last person who should get this.
Melissa: Yeah, you're definitely not the best teacher in Philadelphia. Or, you know, this school. Or your grade. Or even this classroom.
Gregory: Is there a point? Like, where are we going?
Melissa: Gregory, you don't deserve to be Educator of the Year.
Gregory: Still waiting for that point.
Melissa: But I've seen you stick it out and improve week after week. You work really hard to get better, and you care. So maybe someday, you'll grow into deserving this award. But you know what? They're not gonna give it to you then. 'Cause you can't choose when people acknowledge you. This is your moment. So just, hey, think of it like you accept the award early.
Gregory: Okay. Maybe I'm like "Rookie of the Year."
Melissa: Yeah. Well, the thing is, you are still an important member of this team, so get in the game.
Gregory: (Breathes sharply)
Melissa: Yeah! Let's go, Slugger!
Ashley: Finally, I'd like to send a shout-out to all the schools I haven't had to soft quit this year. (Chuckles) Not me being so good at my job they always tell me I don't have to come back. (Chuckles) Thank you.
(Feedback whines)
Elizabeth: Wow... so beautiful to see a LatinX aide share her why with us. Now, please welcome to the stage Italian-American teacher Melissa Schemmenti, who will introduce our marquee award, Educator of the Year.
Jacob: Okay, even for me, this seems incredibly performative.
Ashley: You got this, girl! Do it for Italy!
Melissa: Got it, Ashley. Okay. I'm here to present Educator of the Year for some God-forsaken reason. This trophy gets handed out every year to some random jabroni, and this year, it's going to... an underdog. When he came off the bench last year, we all wrote him off, like some 53rd overall draft pick in the second round. Yes, we did. But week after week, this young man stepped up. And this year, he is Abbott's first string. Hell, he's Offensive Player of the Year. Educator. Educator of the Year! We're happy to have him on our team, and with him, we can go all the way to the Super Bowl of learning!
(Cheers and applause)
Ladies and gentlemen, your Educator of the Year, Gregory Thompson Eddie!
(Saxophone playing)
(Cheers and applause)
♪♪
(Playing ends)
Gregory: Wow, t-thank you, Melissa, um... I'm actually a Ravens fan.
(Audience booing)
Mr. Johnson: Go to hell.
(Door opens)
(Door closes)
Gregory: Uh, this is surreal, um... But realistically, I can't accept this award.
Elizabeth: Cameras down.
Mr. Johnson: I'll accept on his behalf.
Gregory: I can't fully accept this award because I'm still learning.
Elizabeth: Cameras back up.
Gregory: As teachers, we all are. But every day I can come in here and teach, I'm being held up by some of the most incredibly deserving teachers here at Abbott.
Jacob: (Snapping fingers)
Gregory: This profession isn't about being the best, it's about doing your best. Being a constant for your students on the good days, the bad, the terrible. It's the showing up that counts. Uh, so I'd like to dedicate this award to all the teachers here at Abbott who show up
every day and give their best. (Chuckles lightly) It's an honor to walk through those doors with you every morning. Thank you.
(Cheers and applause)
Elizabeth: Thank you. And please, please give a hand to this wonderful Black man.
(Applause continues)
Woman: Whoo!
(Indistinct conversations)
Gregory: How you doing?
Janine: Better now. Today was tough. Definitely don't feel like Teacher of the Year.
Gregory: You know, funny enough, neither do I.
(Both chuckle)
Janine: Hm.
Ashley: Ah. Aide of the Year!
Janine: Mm.
Gregory: Yeah.
Ashley: I know that we've always had a will-they-won't-they thing going, but I appreciate how you've remained professional. My heart is with Benito.
Gregory: Who's she talking about?
Janine: Mnh.
Ashley: Ah!
Gregory: Oh, okay.
Janine: Oh, wow.
Ashley: Delicious. Qué Rico, qué Rico, qué Rico.
Janine: That award is ugly as hell. I mean, an apple?
Gregory: You think? I'm pretty sure they got it from Dollar Tree.
Janine: (Chuckles) I bet it cost (Jamaican accent) tree dollars.
(Both laugh)
Gregory: Shabba!
Melissa: (As Janine) Oh, Gregory, I am so proud of you.
Ava: (As Gregory) Thank you, Janine. I am proud of you. My heart is full of love even though my pockets are full of lint.
Melissa: (As Janine) Oh, Gregory, our love is so pure.
(Normal voice) Actually, I'm gonna go home.
Ava: (As Gregory) We were killin' it!
Jacob: Alright, you're all logged in for your first class. (Breathes deeply) Make friends and learn lots.
Barbara: Alright. Let's see who's teaching this.
(Keys clack) Okay.
Mr. Johnson: Hello, everyone. I'm your teacher, Dr. Johnson. Welcome to Intergenerational Active Listening, also known as iGal. Okurr? The active listening class that hits different, no cap. I'll be your teacher, but not your friend. And I'm low-key deadass. You don't like it, then hop off bro. Feel free to chime in if someone hasn't understood the assignment. Ya feel me, stupid?
Barbara: Stupid?
Mr. Johnson: Did I say that right?
Barbara: Oh, Lord.
Ashley: Deadass.
Barbara: DEA... (Grunts)
